One of the tricky parts about moving to India had to be overcoming Goose’s hesitance to try new or exciting foods. She is very much our “wonder bread and kraft singles” gal, even though she has never actually eaten them*. After a very rocky start, we are slowly and steadily making progress. She is even starting to eat some spice, which excites us greatly. There are some foods that just need some spice, and I look forward to one day being able to use chilies again!

Of all the things that she has had aversion to here, thee most absurd is paneer. We all LOVE paneer, including Goose. She was more than happy to eat it in Ottawa, but would not go near it once we moved here. We’ve been baffled, but have managed to work on her bit by bit. She is now eating it, but not without coaxing and assurances that it is EXCATLY THE SAME as what I make in Ottawa. If she tastes it without this assurance she won’t eat it, so I have to remember. As much as I really want to tell her that she just needs to eat the food I make, I know that this is as much her testing her boundaries as it is trying to adjust to life in India. So I meet her in the middle.

I have taken to adding paneer to lasagne, as I can’t find what Canadians call cottage cheese and am not a huge fan of ricotta. The fact that paneer is roughly one 1/6 the cost of the imported ricotta also factors in. The paneer doesn’t replace cottage cheese, but adds a neat texture and taste dimension to the lasagne, so it works for us. It did work for us until Goose told us this week that she doesn’t eat lasagne because it has paneer in it. I thought about it for a minute and did the only thing I could do. I told her I would use cottage cheese. Cottage cheese, you see, is what paneer is also called here. She was happy, and ate her lasagne. There was no cajoling, and no lying involved, so I am calling it a win.

Woo knows it was paneer in his lasagne. He misses cottage cheese and now wants to know where his is. I can’t deliver on that, but he keeps asking.

…you lose some.

*OK, had never eaten them before we moved here. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do when she doesn’t know where to buy real cheese and safe bread!

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Prior to life in India, Woo was pretty much the top guy in his home based daycare. He was essentially the oldest, he got along really well with the other boy his age, and seemed to be able to “direct” the three younger children when he saw fit. I know that being bossy wasn’t tolerated, but I am sure that he got away with enough of it (as he does at home) that he relied on being able to do and take what he wanted.

One of my worries about school here was how he would fit in. These worries were mostly assuaged when he made fast friends with one little guy in his class. They were excited to see each other each day, had a few playdates, and seemed to get along really well. Their sisters are also friends, which makes it extra nice. While I’d noted them butting heads a few times at play, but they seemed to make peace in time. I figured they would work it out, and they did, until this week.

Woo came home last Friday and reported that his friend was mad, and told him that he didn’t want to be friends any more. I tried to talk to Woo and see what was up, and eventually I got his story, which didn’t seem to warrant the friend’s reaction, and seemed to make Woo look a little too good. He explained that he was putting away all the toys at cleanup time, and that his friend was just playing. He got mad when Woo put his toys away. I let it slide, even though I know that Woo has never willingly put his own toys away, let alone those he wasn’t playing with. They’ll work it out, I thought.

Woo was sick today, and was in the car as I waited for Goose to meet me at the school gate. She was slower than usual, and I had a chance to say hi to Woo’s friend. Not thinking of their falling out, I asked if he missed Woo today. His answer broke my heart a little. “I didn’t notice that Woo was missing, didn’t miss him, and he isn’t my friend anymore, because he takes my toys,” he said. Clearly, there is more to this then what Woo reports.

At home, as he snatched a toy from Goose today, I tried to explain that Goose and other children did not like it when little boys were always taking their toys. He was unconcerned, so I pressed on and let him know (a much softer version) of what his friend said. He didn’t admit to taking things, but did get that sheepish look that means the truth of the story is close to what I said. I didn’t push him, or tell him that he had to “fix” their friendship I asked him to think about whether he still wanted to be friends, and how that might happen.

These two don’t need to be friends, and it is up to them to decide if they want the friendship. A small part of me feels that I have already meddled too much, but I do want Woo to be happy here, and know that he really likes this boy. It’s also really important that he realize that his behavior to others has consequences, and that seeing what he has done and making amends can mend fences. I wonder if it is enough and I should do more to get them to come around to making up.

A very small part of me wonders if I would say or note anything at all if the little boy’s mom was not my friend, the only real friend that I have made here. Does that factor into it? Could it? Should it? Life is a lot easier for us when our lils are friends. We can see each other with the lils, it gives us something to do on the school breaks, and we can rely on each other to help with child minding in a pinch. Yes, all of these can be done if the lils aren’t best buds or even friends, but it is easier if they are. So do I only want them to patch things up because it is easier for me?? I know I don’t, I want my lil boy to be happy, and his friend makes him happy, even if he doesn’t quite have the social skills to show it properly.

So I wait. I’ve planted some seeds, and will watch what happens. He’ll figure it out eventually, right?

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We were driving along yesterday and Woo and Goose were talking about their futures.  We’ve known for a while that they had decided who they were going to  marry, as they have told us on numerous occasions.  When we lived in Ottawa they were in a wonderful daycare with four other friends.  Woo and Goose paired every one off, so that Woo’s best friend C would marry L, Goose would marry L’s brother R, and Woo would marry his other best friend A.

I am not sure if any of the other lils were made aware of these plans, but I know that A is on board.  She and Woo played the marriage game often, and apparently made some preliminary plans.  Both independently told their parents that the wedding would take place at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa. It’s not surprising, given that it is Woo’s favourite place.  

It appears that the distance has not put a damper Woo’s affections.  I am not sure if A has been kept in the loop, but Woo has apparently had some time to make more plans.  He made me aware of those plans on this drive.  It seems that he and A will live in the country, and raise sheep.  The sheep will be protected from the wolves with a bow and arrow.  Woo is going to work as a carpenter, and while he is working, A will get lamb meat for them to eat.  He is pretty sure that she is non-veg, but will ask her the next time they Skype.  They’ll have four children.  While I can’t wait to see where this goes next, I think we need to talk a little bit more about what A might want…

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We have been struggling with early morning wake-ups since we moved here. At first we blamed it on the time difference, and figured that things would go back to normal soon. They didn’t. It must be the light we figured, noting that the curtains in the lils rooms were pretty sheer. We searched and searched for good blackout curtains, but failed to find ones that were thick enough. They’ll get used to it, we thought.

Goose did, for the most part. She still has to combat the early morning visits from woo, but she does ok. Woo, on the other hand, is still waking. Even now that the mornings are short, he still wakes every morning about 5:30. Some days he is great about it, and plays on his own. We are really impressed with how well he does these days.  It’s the other days when he wakes some or all of us. It’s getting tiring. Literally.

This week my brother-in-law and mother-in-law helped me figure out just what it was that wakes him. First Uncle D identified that there is loud music playing every day, pre-dawn. I am pretty sure that I have heard it too, but thought nothing of it. Then I hear it later in the day, and my MIL suggests it is the Islamic call to prayer. A quick google search confirms it. We clearly live near a Mosque. There is not much we can do about that.

This lil can sleep through fireworks going off outside his window for hours, but can’t make it through 30 seconds of music. We’re in a hotel today. He was up in the night with a fever, but this morning he woke up at 8:00am. No call to prayer here.

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