24
January
Day Trippin’
When Uncle Carpet was here to visit us last week a few weeks ago in early December, we didn’t really have much planned. He was our first guest, and we weren’t sure of what he wanted, so we didn’t make assumptions. All we really planned was to eat a lot of great food, and let him decide the rest. Turned out that he wanted a mix of down time and some exploring. He and I hung around Bangalore when Willy and the lils were away at work/school, but after a few days of that, we decided we needed to see more. A day trip seemed to fit the bill, so we started planning.
We’d heard that Mysore was doable in a day, and lined things up to go. Our driver let us know that it should take 3-3.5 hours from our place, and with that in mind, we set off early. Unfortunately the traffic also started off early that Friday, and we were slow leaving the city because of it. Then Goose got carsick for the first time ever, about 90 minutes into the trip, and that slowed us down some too. When we finally got main on the road to Mysore, we’d been in the car for two and a half hours, and had travelled just under fifty kilometres!! The last ninety-five kilometres flew by after that, and we arrived after four and a half hours.
We had a bite to eat, and hit the zoo. It was the perfect zoo for the lils. Lots of shade, and all of their favourite animals to see! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! There were also many snakes, giraffes, elephants, monkeys, and other creatures to amuse. Most amusing for the adults were the signs, which showed many bad fence hoppers being gored on maimed, and then arrested for breaking the rules! The biggest attraction at the zoo seemed to be the lils, who were literally mobbed every time they stopped moving. We were lucky to have Uncle Carpet, who was equally unique, given that he is a giant, so he deflected some of the spotlight. By allowing the lils to hide behind him.
Zoo highlights
Following the zoo, we headed to Mysore palace, the only other sight that we had on our list of “must see” places while we were there. It too, did not disappoint. We were too late in the day to actually get into the palace, but the majestic grounds themselves were worth the trip. Wonderfully ornate gates, sculptures, beautiful temples, and the massive and beautiful palace itself.
We wandered around for as long as they would let us, and then headed on the long road home. I know we missed much of what Mysore has to offer, and that we will be going back. This time we’ll go for a few days, tour around some more and actually go in the palace.
Hanging at the palace
23
January
Then I laughed
We were lucky enough to have an extended weekend visit from some friends who live in Singapore this weekend. I’ve known Lala for a long time, we’ve worked together, lived together, travelled together, but mostly laughed together. She is one of my closest friends, and I have missed her since she moved from Ottawa about five years ago. I have planned on visiting her since she moved, but the lil people have made that tricky, so I have had to make due with her annual-ish visits home. Now that we are only a four hour flight apart, I knew that it was a matter of time before we saw each other.
She and Bug beat us to the punch, and arrived late on friday night. They were too late to do any catching up, but we made up for that the rest of the weekend. We played cards, goofed around with the lils, ate way to much yummy food, drank gallons of wine, talked about anything and everything, and we laughed. We laughed so much that my belly hurt, and that I snorted some chilies into my lungs. Then I cried and laughed some more. The weekend made me realize how serious we have been since we moved here, and how that is not how we want to be. We need to laugh more, and I think that this weekend has helped to make me see that. It’s not hard when you have props like this:
I took Lala and Bug on a limited tour of Bangalore today, which included a wander down one of the very busy commercial streets. we weren’t really shopping, just soaking in all the chaos and clamor. As I wandered along the street, completely overwhelmed by the people, the noise, and the colours, an older gentleman walked in front of me and put his hand out. Without thinking, I did what I do about a thousand times a day when the lils stick their hands out, because it is jsut reactionary now. I gave him five and kept walking. Then I heard the hysterical laughter from Bug and Lala behind me, and realized what I had done. He wasn’t looking for a high five, he was looking for money. Without realizing that I had done it, I’d high fived a beggar. The look of disgust on his face was pretty fast apparently, and he withdrew his hand before he reached my friends. I was a little shocked at first that I had just done that, but then all I could do was join in their laughter.
17
January
You win some…
One of the tricky parts about moving to India had to be overcoming Goose’s hesitance to try new or exciting foods. She is very much our “wonder bread and kraft singles” gal, even though she has never actually eaten them*. After a very rocky start, we are slowly and steadily making progress. She is even starting to eat some spice, which excites us greatly. There are some foods that just need some spice, and I look forward to one day being able to use chilies again!
Of all the things that she has had aversion to here, thee most absurd is paneer. We all LOVE paneer, including Goose. She was more than happy to eat it in Ottawa, but would not go near it once we moved here. We’ve been baffled, but have managed to work on her bit by bit. She is now eating it, but not without coaxing and assurances that it is EXCATLY THE SAME as what I make in Ottawa. If she tastes it without this assurance she won’t eat it, so I have to remember. As much as I really want to tell her that she just needs to eat the food I make, I know that this is as much her testing her boundaries as it is trying to adjust to life in India. So I meet her in the middle.
I have taken to adding paneer to lasagne, as I can’t find what Canadians call cottage cheese and am not a huge fan of ricotta. The fact that paneer is roughly one 1/6 the cost of the imported ricotta also factors in. The paneer doesn’t replace cottage cheese, but adds a neat texture and taste dimension to the lasagne, so it works for us. It did work for us until Goose told us this week that she doesn’t eat lasagne because it has paneer in it. I thought about it for a minute and did the only thing I could do. I told her I would use cottage cheese. Cottage cheese, you see, is what paneer is also called here. She was happy, and ate her lasagne. There was no cajoling, and no lying involved, so I am calling it a win.
Woo knows it was paneer in his lasagne. He misses cottage cheese and now wants to know where his is. I can’t deliver on that, but he keeps asking.
…you lose some.
*OK, had never eaten them before we moved here. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do when she doesn’t know where to buy real cheese and safe bread!
16
January
Do I meddle?
Prior to life in India, Woo was pretty much the top guy in his home based daycare. He was essentially the oldest, he got along really well with the other boy his age, and seemed to be able to “direct” the three younger children when he saw fit. I know that being bossy wasn’t tolerated, but I am sure that he got away with enough of it (as he does at home) that he relied on being able to do and take what he wanted.
One of my worries about school here was how he would fit in. These worries were mostly assuaged when he made fast friends with one little guy in his class. They were excited to see each other each day, had a few playdates, and seemed to get along really well. Their sisters are also friends, which makes it extra nice. While I’d noted them butting heads a few times at play, but they seemed to make peace in time. I figured they would work it out, and they did, until this week.
Woo came home last Friday and reported that his friend was mad, and told him that he didn’t want to be friends any more. I tried to talk to Woo and see what was up, and eventually I got his story, which didn’t seem to warrant the friend’s reaction, and seemed to make Woo look a little too good. He explained that he was putting away all the toys at cleanup time, and that his friend was just playing. He got mad when Woo put his toys away. I let it slide, even though I know that Woo has never willingly put his own toys away, let alone those he wasn’t playing with. They’ll work it out, I thought.
Woo was sick today, and was in the car as I waited for Goose to meet me at the school gate. She was slower than usual, and I had a chance to say hi to Woo’s friend. Not thinking of their falling out, I asked if he missed Woo today. His answer broke my heart a little. “I didn’t notice that Woo was missing, didn’t miss him, and he isn’t my friend anymore, because he takes my toys,” he said. Clearly, there is more to this then what Woo reports.
At home, as he snatched a toy from Goose today, I tried to explain that Goose and other children did not like it when little boys were always taking their toys. He was unconcerned, so I pressed on and let him know (a much softer version) of what his friend said. He didn’t admit to taking things, but did get that sheepish look that means the truth of the story is close to what I said. I didn’t push him, or tell him that he had to “fix” their friendship I asked him to think about whether he still wanted to be friends, and how that might happen.
These two don’t need to be friends, and it is up to them to decide if they want the friendship. A small part of me feels that I have already meddled too much, but I do want Woo to be happy here, and know that he really likes this boy. It’s also really important that he realize that his behavior to others has consequences, and that seeing what he has done and making amends can mend fences. I wonder if it is enough and I should do more to get them to come around to making up.
A very small part of me wonders if I would say or note anything at all if the little boy’s mom was not my friend, the only real friend that I have made here. Does that factor into it? Could it? Should it? Life is a lot easier for us when our lils are friends. We can see each other with the lils, it gives us something to do on the school breaks, and we can rely on each other to help with child minding in a pinch. Yes, all of these can be done if the lils aren’t best buds or even friends, but it is easier if they are. So do I only want them to patch things up because it is easier for me?? I know I don’t, I want my lil boy to be happy, and his friend makes him happy, even if he doesn’t quite have the social skills to show it properly.
So I wait. I’ve planted some seeds, and will watch what happens. He’ll figure it out eventually, right?
9
January
The nice one
Before we moved to India, I did a fair amount of research about life in India, particularly Bangalore. I found a few great resources applicable to our situation online. My favourite of these was the the expat section on the India Mike site (http://www.indiamike.com). It provided a wealth of hints and tips about what to expect, where to shop, what to bring and not to bring, and life in Bangalore.
I was a little surprised to see, as a recurring theme across several sites, references to the public toilets and how terrible they were. I didn’t expect five star washrooms at every turn, but surely they couldn’t be so bad?? I tried not to let this build up in my head, but I will admit to being nervous the first few times I used public toilets. It quickly became clear that they weren’t that bad at all. Most were old and a little run down, many lack toilet paper, and some could use a little more effort by the cleaners, but almost all were acceptable. They are toilets after all. Some of them are the Indian style (squat) toilet, but if you can pee in the bush, you are just fine with them. Goose actually prefers to use these!
The one exception to this has proven to be some of the washrooms found in a couple of our favourite places to visit; the Nandi hills, the zoo, some of the parks/botanical gardens in Bangalore. Oddly enough, these are among the few toilets that you have to pay to use. I gather they get over used, and as a result are pretty nasty. We only use them if we really have too, but with two little people, that is pretty frequent.
The flip side of these mostly plain and serviceable toilets, is that you really appreciate it when you find a nice one. I am happy to report that I have found the nicest washroom in Bangalore! It is shiny and new, all the tiles are fresh and not cracked, the hardware is shiny, it’s spacious…They have lovely towels, the lighting is just right and there is always toilet paper AND soap. The first time that Goose used it, she stood in awe, saying only “it’s so pretty”. It happens to be in one of the only non-Indian restaurants we frequent, so we don’t go often. I appreciate it all the more when we go. And go.
8
January
Figured out
We were driving along yesterday and Woo and Goose were talking about their futures. We’ve known for a while that they had decided who they were going to marry, as they have told us on numerous occasions. When we lived in Ottawa they were in a wonderful daycare with four other friends. Woo and Goose paired every one off, so that Woo’s best friend C would marry L, Goose would marry L’s brother R, and Woo would marry his other best friend A.
I am not sure if any of the other lils were made aware of these plans, but I know that A is on board. She and Woo played the marriage game often, and apparently made some preliminary plans. Both independently told their parents that the wedding would take place at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa. It’s not surprising, given that it is Woo’s favourite place.
It appears that the distance has not put a damper Woo’s affections. I am not sure if A has been kept in the loop, but Woo has apparently had some time to make more plans. He made me aware of those plans on this drive. It seems that he and A will live in the country, and raise sheep. The sheep will be protected from the wolves with a bow and arrow. Woo is going to work as a carpenter, and while he is working, A will get lamb meat for them to eat. He is pretty sure that she is non-veg, but will ask her the next time they Skype. They’ll have four children. While I can’t wait to see where this goes next, I think we need to talk a little bit more about what A might want…
31
December
My christmas vacation was shittier than your christmas vacation
willy and I have been unbelievably lucky when it comes to vacations. The “worst” weather that we ever had on a trip was when we were in Jamaica in January of 2010 and it rained for a bit and was overcast for a few days. Being the pale people that we are, we were really OK with that. For the most part, we have had record-breakingly fabulous weather. We know that we have been very lucky, and often joke about the “terrible” weather that we get. You know those days, the ones without a cloud in the sky, a cool breeze coming off the water, a nice shady place to lie and watch the world go by.
We decided to go to the beach for the week after Christmas, to see a new part of India, and to have some downtime with the family. we originally looked at going to Goa, but found it to be cost prohibitive, due to the fact that it is a destination spot for many travellers, and the prices greatly increase over the Christmas holidays. One of Willy’s colleagues suggested that Puducherry would also be very nice, so we consulted Grandma and Uncle D, and decided it fit the bill. We found a resort that looked lovely and booked ourselves in.
while we had originally planned on flying, it worked out that it was about the same travel time to drive from Bangalore, and our driver Subbu was willing to take us. We set off on Boxing day for the long drive, and got to see much of the Indian countryside that we would have otherwise missed. While the drive was long and tiring, it was worth it. We were happy to arrive at the resort, and pleased that it delivered on what it promised. Ocean views; lovely open air common spaces; young, but lush gardens; and a calmness and openness that we just don’t get in Bangalore. Our room even had a lovely private pool!
The week got off to a pretty rocky start. Woo was sick, running a high temp for the first two and a days. He was out of sorts and not eating or sleeping well. Goose was doing ok, but sleeping with us, and delivering a higher than expected number of kidney and groin kicks. The resort was very nice, but had some service issues, and the food was less than the spectacular I have come to expect in India. We got eaten alive by mosquitoes in the room the first night. Things we starting to look up as the week progressed. We had a fabulous day in Puducherry, exploring. The weather had cleared up and the sun was shining. The seas were providing wonderful waves that we fun to watch – each more spectacular than the last. Then I caught a tweet on an Indian news service that I follow, mentioning a cyclone that was expected to make landfall near Cuddalore. Cuddalore is a town that was about 10km south of where we were staying. I let Willy, Grandma, and Uncle D know, and started following the news a little more closely.
Thursday was a grey and windy day, and it started raining in the early afternoon. We weren’t sure what to expect, but this picture made it clear that we were in for some nasty weather:
The day just passed. No one at the resort seemed to be worried, and there was no talk of “battening down the hatches” or any such thing. We noted the the seas had become violent, and the hotel closed the beach early.
The lils and I had a very windy supper in the open restaurant before Willy, his mum, and brother went out to dinner and saw Uncle D off on his cross India adventure at the bus station. Willy returned to the room a little after nine and reported that it was windy and rainy, but little had changed over the evening. We packed up and tried to tidy as much as we coould inside and out, moving most of our belongings inside, putting all of our valuables off the ground, and locking the large glass doors to the room and outdoor bathroom as best as we could. We went to bed not knowing what to expect.
I awoke a little after two to the howling wind and periodic banging of the wooden door between the bathroom and pool area. Willy awoke shortly after me, and actually went outside to close the door! I was content to let it bang away, but it bothered him enough to go out in the raging wind and re-latch. We both lay in the dark listening to the storm intensify. The door came open several more times, and each time he ventured back out to latch it. On the second or third trip he reported that the loud noise I had heard while he was outside was part of the bathroom’s roof being ripped off.
Goose woke shortly after three, and was very curious about the noises outside the room. I explained that the big storm was blowing things around, and damaging things. She was at first worried about where her toothbrush might be in the morning, but I assured her that we would find it. Placated, she started to identify the sounds and gave a play-by-play of what was happening right outside the room. “Oh, that was our milk glass breaking”, she calmly whispered, “oops, there goes more of the bathroom roof”. She calmly watched as Willy went outside one more time to secure the latch, and as he and I moved a large wooden cabinet in front of the glass door to the bathroom that was taking the brunt of the wind.
Then Goose whispered the four words that you don’t want to hear at four in the morning as a cyclone rages overhead, “I need to pee“. Our bathroom was outside and getting hit, so that wasn’t an option. Willy again went out into the storm to get a sand bucket for her to use as a commode, and she settled back to bed, this time asking to sleep between us. She wasn’t scared, just wanted to cuddle. She and Willy drifted off to sleep around five, in the eerie calm as the eye of the storm passed over us. It began to rage on again and I tried to remain calm, but each bang made me jump and tense, certain that the wind was going to blow one of the doors in. This fear intensified when the wind blew some roofing material against the main door. It was a rubber mat that had large metal fasteners attached to it. They banged against the glass loudly and often. I nearly jumped out of my skin each time.
Woo slept blissfully though all of this chaos and noise. He woke around 6:45, later than normal, and ran to the door find out what was going on out there. I leapt out of bed and moved him to the couch. we sat and watched out a window that was sheltered from the wind. He had many questions about the storm, which I answered as best as I could. I continued to watch out the main door, and happened to be watching as the gazebo by our pool collapsed. This brought a rash of new questions, most of which centered on the safety of the lounge chairs under the gazebo, chairs that he had spent many hours playing happily on.
During all of this time we were worried about Willy’s mum, who was in an ocean facing room by herself. We didn’t want to call her on the off chance that she was blissfully unaware, and weren’t able to venture to her room, then finally lost power and thought it was moot. We were pleased and surprised when she called and let us know that she was fine. Her door had blown in pre-dawn, and she had called hotel staff who came and brought her to a safe place. She agreed to check in with us regularly, but was safe and dry.
The morning dragged on slowly. We munched on all the emergency snacks that I was carrying with me, and waited for the storm to slowly weaken. Willy made several trips out and about and reported pretty severe damage to the hotel. We reached Subbu, who had managed to drive to the main road, but could not drive the final 2.5km to where we were. The road to the resort was littered with downed powerlines, trees, branches, and other debris. He was lucky enough to have made it to us at all, given that the car that had been parked beside his overnight was crushed in the storm! We waited and watched, were served some lunch, and finally received word that the road was now passable. We called for Subbu, grabbed our bags, adopted two stranded folks, and headed out. I took a few minutes before we left to take a couple of snaps:
The glass doors to the room
Gazebo down
Mess in the lobby
Pile up
Front lawn
Roof damage
There are more pictures at http://flic.kr/s/aHsjxHRi8D
As we drove down the road, we were shocked by the damage. They had cleared a path that was no wider that the minivan we were driving. There were trees and branches that had fallen across the road every foot or so. Many houses were badly damaged, or outright destroyed. Entire plantations of new and mature trees were flattened. The damage continued as we moved north into Puducherry. As we approached the waterfront we had to drive down streets that were under more than a foot of water. We finally had to stop and let our passengers out a bit short of their alternate accomodation, as the roads were no longer safe to pass. The damage continued far inland on the drive home, as did the rain. The road was slow, but we didn’t mind. We were so glad to be safe, dry, and going home.
Short video shot driving out of Puducherry
The resort we were staying at took a direct hit. Cyclone Thane was classified as a very severe cyclone, the second highest rating. According to reports, it was the equivalent of a strong category two/weak category three hurricane. Current reports identify that 42 people were killed in Puducherry and Cuddalore, and that over 20,000 people are homeless. The damage is shocking, and I can only hope that there will be some sort of relief efforts, and will gladly contribute to whatever I find. We left feeling very lucky to have escaped unscathed. This despite the fact that the hotel was largely unprepared, and did nothing to warn any guests of the storms potential for damage. We are very concerned, as many people were left in a very vulnerable position. We plan to write to their corporate offices to express our feelings.
Grandma and I are going to Kerala next week, so we joked about whether the west coast of India is prone to cyclones. It turns out that the Arabian Sea does get cyclones, so I tried to see the forecast:
See those two white dots to the south west of India? Oy.