7
May

Rules of engagement

We started when they were itty bitty. There were rules about when they went to the doctor, when they are supposed to sleep, when to wake them to feed them, how much to feed, what to feed them. We quickly tossed a bunch of those “rules” (hello, my doc told us to wake Woo to feed him every three hours! He was already gaining a pound a week, he was good). Out went the old, and we started a few of our own. Most of them were arbitrary and told in jest to infants that could not understand them.

As both lils got older, they did start to ask about things that are governed by rules; when you can drink, when can drive, when you are allowed to vote. We gave them the correct ages for all of these, and started making up a few of our own. Rules about how old you must be to ride your bike down the slide (eight), which is the highest stair that you can jump off of (the third), and when you can become a vegetarian (twelve). Lots of these values change to suit the situation that they arise from, and the lils like to review them regularly.

Moving to India has meant that there were a large number of new rules thrust upon the lils. They have adopted many of them, but still fight and question a few. We knew it was only a matter of time before the started coming up with their own rules. Surprisingly, it was Goose that came out with a rule for us all.

Each bedroom in our house has its own attached bath, and the lils love to use any toilet other their own when they need to go. This often means that they use each other’s. A few weeks ago Goose reached her breaking point and adamantly decreed that anyone who used her bathroom had to sit down. She was apparently tired of her brother messing up her toilet, and had figured out that this was the only solution. It’s worked too. Woo follows the rule, she is happy and we have peace again when it comes to the toilet. Well, we did have peace. Tonight Woo instituted his own rule… Everyone who uses his toilet has to stand when they pee.

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4
May

It all comes down to the thugs

One of the things that we were frequently reminded of as we prepared for our move to Bangalore, was that the city is often referred to as the “high-tech” capital of India. With knowledge in hand, we figured that we would be able sign up for high speed internet pretty easily, but this did not prove to be the case.  There is one main provider that serves our community, and the top speed that they offer is 512kbps, which is v-e-r-y s-l-o-w, especially if you are trying to stream hockey games. We got hooked up, but started looking for other solutions.  We found that our villa was in range for a second provider, who offers 2mbps, at roughly four times the cost of the slow connection.  We asked to be hooked up, and three months later we were. It seemed lightning fast!

This spring brought the promise of a third provider, willing to come in to our community and offer fibre connections with speeds of up to 10mbps.  They needed a minimum number of sign-ups, and once the threshold was met, they gave us a tentative connection date of May. We were the third people to sign up, and very much looking forward to the start date.  As much as the connection we have is workable, we were actually still subscribing to both services.  We needed this, as both were frequently down, and if Willy needed to be on a skype call, I need to move to the slower connection to leave him enough bandwidth.

The last few weeks have really opened my eyes as to how business, on some level, is conducted in India.  It started with a posting on the internal message board:

“Community contact” wrote:

Dear Residents,
This is to inform you that Provider Three has pulled out from our community as of yesterday.

A couple of days ago their team was manhandled and threatened by some unknown persons near here while testing the cable. Yesterday our local cable T.V operator mystery fourth company (Manjunath & Jerry) met with me and informed me that – ONLY IF the residents of are willing to pay the rates (given in the attachment) to THEM will any other service provider be allowed to come into the community. The rates that they have offered are about 300% – 500% more than Provider Three’s rates.

… The truth of the matter is, the service offered by mystery fourth company is a monopoly, like the newspaper, the milk supply, etc and all these services are run by Manjunath who over charges us, huge rates on all services and is just not allowing any other service provider to come in………

This shocked both Willy and me.  We had read in the history of the message board about one provider sabotaging another to get a leg up, or blocking cables from being run, but the physical violence was unexpected. We didn’t know what to expect.

Members of the community were up in arms. There was talk of boycotts, of arranging meetings, of engaging law enforcement. One suggestion that did get some support was to have all of those who had signed up for the service pay a united visit to the “broadband monopoly”.  Further suggestions were that the owner of provider three should be informed, as he was “an old thug himself”, and would make “mincemeat of Manjunath and company” when he found out.  As I read this, I pictured the fights that used to occur in the village where my cottage is located. There were two large families that accounted for a large portion of the village’s 1000 residents.  When they disagreed (which happened pretty regularly, especially on a Saturday night after the bar closed), they would block the main street and fight it out with shovels, rocks, and sticks.

As it stands now, the community is trying to resolve this without resorting to violence, or encouraging violence by any party.  Members of the community have stated that they are watching, and have discussed the problem outside of the message group and have considered “a number of actions”. It’s definitely a sobering view of the growth of certain segments of the economy here. I’m a little afraid to see where this goes next. Until then, I hope that at least one of my connections stays up.

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2
May

Wordless wednesday – market workers

Contrast

Down below

Flower sellers.

Wanna buy some flowers?

Focus

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1
May

Curiosity and that cat

If there is a phrase that I have said at least once a day, every day since we have been here, it is “Don’t drink the water”.  The tap water here is suspect at best, so we rely on a reverse osmosis purification system to ensure that there is safe water in the house.  It does a great job when the power fluctuations don’t kill this part or the other, but there is only one tap in the house, so you have to get your drinking water from the kitchen.  It’s been an adjustment from me, so I expect that it is for the lils too. We stay on top of it, and have been healthy and hydrated for the most part.

Over the last two weeks or so, I have noticed that Goose has been going out of her way to drink the water.  Well, any water that she shouldn’t be drinking, that is. She drinks in the pool when we are swimming; she sucks it from her facecloth as I wash her face; she drinks it in the tub when the lils are bathing; she even sucks it out of her hair when it is wet. She is well hydrated, and often has water or juice close by when she is drinking the wrong liquid. It’s beginning to drive me a little crazy.

Things came to a head on Saturday, when she was constantly trying to drink the pool water, despite my removing her from the pool as punishment on several occasions.  She continued that evening in the tub, until finally I gave her one final warning. When she drank again, I ended the tub fun and told her that she could not watch the drawing game, as has become our nightly ritual.  The tears, promises and begging were epic, but I stuck to my ground and she went to bed with cuddles and a story, but missed out on the fun.

As we were lying in bed, I once again explained to her that drinking the water could make her very sick, especially since she is a little girl.  I asked if she knew that it would give her an upset tummy, and what some of the consequences were. She said yes, so I asked why then.  “I wanted to see if it would happen” she answered. I am so glad that we have raised our little girl to be curious, but she needs to know that the cat that this curiosity might kill is me.

 

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30
April

They’re super to me

There are many writers that I read who make use of writing prompts for their posts. For the most part they do this very well. The posts are thoughtful and heartfelt and always seem to match the theme perfectly. I am not one of those people. My few attempts to write according to a prompt have never felt natural, so they end up forever in the draft pile, wallowing in their contrivedness (yes I just made up a word).

This week, I was tagged by Nicki of The Perils of a Working Mom to come up with “7 SuperShots”, each of which had to match a category, I was intrigued. I post many pictures, and take many more, but I seldom take the time to talk about why a photo is meaningful to me. It’s something that I have been wanting to do more of, so this is a good place to start. My 7 SuperShots:

A photo that . . . takes my breath away.
Taj Mahal at dawn
I was fortunate enough to go to the Taj Mahal twice this past March. Once to experience it with Willy and the Lils, and once more to have the time to pay more attention and maybe take a few more photographs. This was taken just after sunrise on the second trip. I was the thir person to reach this spot, right after my friend Chris. We planned to be there at that magical moment when there was no one else there, and were lucky enough that the fellow that was there first let us get our shots too. It’s the entire experience of the Taj Mahal that takes my breath away. This photo is one key part of those experiences.

A photo that . . . makes me laugh or smile.
I've got you
I have numerous photographs of the lils having fun, playing, growing and learning, but this is one that never fails to brighten my day. It was Goose’s first ever time on the merry-go-round, and there were only child sized seats on this ride. She was nervous, so Woo was quick to jump up with her and throw his arm around her shoulders. It was a gesture that said “I’ve got you, sis”. She was fine after this.

A photo that . . . makes me dream.
Big tree
I remember when I was a child, and play was just play. We were fearless and focussed on having fun. All to often I see that is missing from the lives of young people. I want to make sure that my lils play for the sake of play, and and do silly things like wrapping themselves around a tree like a rope. This picture shows them doing that with some new friends. It makes me dream of my childhood, and for what they can make of theirs.

A photo that . . . makes me think.
Water
One of the things that has troubled us all since arriving in India is the garbage that is everywhere. It’s on the street, in the parks, in the water. This is a little lake in one of out favourite gardens. It is actually one of few public spaces that we visit where rubbish bins are obvious and plentiful, but still we see this on the shores of the lake. I think about how this came to be such a colossal problem, how it can change, and what I can do to help change it, but mostly I think about how sad it is.

A photo that . . . makes my mouth water.
Garlic aplenty
It’s fresh and plentiful, and the a good chunk of the basis for some of my favourite gravies here. I love going to the local markets in Bangalore. The sights, the smells, the sounds… They are packed and chaotic and full of great things, like these chilies, tomatoes and the garlic. And so much more.

A photo that . . . tells a story.
In this together!
It tells the story to me. They are little, nervous, anxious and excited. It’s the first day that either of them has ever gone to school, and they are in it together. When every one of them isn’t sure, they grab each other’s hand and forge ahead together. I love that they support each other, and that they find comfort in one another.

A photo that . . . I am am most proud of (aka my National Geographic Worth Shot)
Serenity
I don’t in any way feel that this is worthy of National Geographic, but I am really, really pleased with the shot. It was taken in the main city market, amid all the noise and frenzy. This woman was sitting on the ground stringing together one of the long garlands of flowers when a beam of sunlight fell upon her through one of the cracks in the roof. She just sat there, drinking it in, lost in the serenity of the moment, oblivious to everything. When it passed, she just resumed her work. I walked away, but I still think of her, and how peaceful she was.

I think that I am supposed to tag people now to carry this on. I’ll get on that ASAP.

6 comments

26
April

Blank

India requires that you fill out an immigration form and be processed by an immigration officer prior to leaving in the country. I recently travelled alone to Singapore, so I had to fill out the form and do this by myself. Although I have done solo cross border travel a number of times, I was a little nervous. This was my first time leaving India on my own, and I don’t know the system, or what the “right” answers are. Filling out the form just might have included a text or two to Willy.

Little did I know that it was one of the questions that I was confident in the answer that would trip me up. The question asked my occupation. I left it blank, as that is the most appropriate answer. The two immigration officers we incredulous, asking “what do you mean you don’t have a job? You must work!” Had the form asked what my profession or title was, I would have gladly responded with Victim Advocate, but it asked what my current occupation was. After explaining several times that I was not currently employed, and having them finally agree that leaving the response blank was the appropriate action, I was let through. I was a little surprised that they were not prepared for the fact that I was not employed, but I was through. The rest of my weekend was fabulous, I had so much fun in Singapore.

My return to Bangalore left me in a funk that has lasted all week. I first thought it was just the shock of the going from neat and orderly Singapore to life in Bangalore that is nowhere near neat or orderly. I’ve slowly come to realize that it’s not that at all. It’s that damn blank.

I have been on an unpaid leave for the duration of my stay in India. The understanding when I left was that my job would be mine if I wanted it upon my return. I agreed to this, with the caveat that I would not force my agency to let my replacement go if she was as great a fit for the position as I thought she would be. Sadly, changes to the way that the agency is funded* meant that my replacement was laid off a couple of weeks ago. If there is no job for her, there is no job for me. I knew this and was upset by it, but it really hit me this week.  That blank just made it real.

 

*Thanks Harper government.

4 comments

25
April

Wordless Wednesday – Seen in Singapore

On top

Riverside point

From the Balcony

Spiral

In the Muslim Graveyard

Bird of Paradise

Twisted

Orchids

Smiling Buddha...

3 comments

23
April

Drawing

Neither Willy nor I are great artists, so it never surprised us that Woo showed very little inclination to draw anything at all. Although he produced coherent stuff at daycare with the fabulous N, most of the artwork that we received from him for the first four and a half years of his life was pretty much scribbling on paper, with little effort to create forms or tell a story. Goose followed much in his footsteps, but we never really put too much emphasis on it for either lil. They were happy with their art, so we were happy.

We started to see significant change when they started school here. There was obviously some emphasis on colouring and drawing at school, and they seemed to produce colouring pages where the lines were mostly identified, and free art where there were some forms with eyes and mouths that generally fell into the categories of family members or dinosaurs. Something has changed in the last few weeks, however, and both lils are (mass) producing art that has clearly identified subjects and covers pretty much anything imaginable. We were stumped as to why both lils all of a sudden figured out how to draw things. People, buildings, mountains, dragons, a variety of scenes were all of a sudden popping up in their drawings.

The mystery was solved last week when I asked the lils what they were doing at the art table. “Playing Draw Something”, was the response I got. Draw Something is a game that is similar to pictionary, available on Android and iOS devices. You play against friends (or strangers), and draw pictures that your opponent has to guess. It’s addictive and a time waster, and I completely underestimated the impact it would have on the lils, that their fascination with watching me play would teach them both how to draw so quickly. This clearly isn’t the only thing that they are learning from, but the influence is very apparent to both Willy and I. Maybe there is something to this technology thing… although this really makes me want to start playing pictionary with them.

2 comments

18
April

Wordless Wednesday – stray cat

Classic pose

Catching bugs

Nap interupted

Yes, it is comfortable to sleep this way :)

New pillow

3 comments

16
April

When it comes to hockey, sleep is overrated

 

One of the hardest things for me personally, was giving up my Senators tickets for the year that we planned to live in India.  I LOVE hockey.  Always have, always will.  When Willy and I started dating, he barely had hockey on the radar, so I made him start watching with me. I wasn’t sure if I could be with someone who didn’t like hockey.  Happily, he took a shine to it, cheers for the same teams that I do and even started playing.  We have passed our love of hockey on to the lils, who are very happy to play hockey all day long if given the chance.  Though they get to play road hockey here every day, just yesterday they were talking about skating and playing hockey on ice next winter.  We all miss it.

There were two things that made me think that I could survive this drought. The first is that I made Willy PROMISE that I would be able to watch the games while we were here*.  Thankfully NHL’s Centre Ice package is now available in Asia, so this took a mere three months to set up. The lils and I have really loved having the hockey in the morning, when we can catch most of the third period. They actually get to see the conclusion of the games, and I start my day with hockey.  The second thing was that this was a rebuilding year for the Sens, so the hockey wasn’t going to be all that great…

Fast forward six months and Senators hockey is still going, when all but Woo (who predicted a Sens Stanley Cup in October) thought that we would be finished.  We’re pretty excited to still have hockey, and I have taken to getting up at 4:30AM to catch the start of the games.  Woo has been joining me for the third period, and we are loving it.  The problem with getting up at 4:30 to watch hockey games is that you are pretty tired most of the time between games.  My driver caught me in a particularly yawn-y moment and asked why I was so tired.  He knows all about our love of hockey, so I explained about it being the PLAYOFFS, and how this was my favourite part of the hockey season. He thought for a moment and asked “have you considered watching cricket?”

Cricket is something that I have wanted to learn about, but haven’t really gotten caught up in. I explained this to him, and he just smiled and said “well, it starts at 7:00… PM!”  I almost think he might be on to something. Almost.

 

*this was actually a deal breaker for me.  This and the no cockroaches rule – and we all know how that ended up – http://lilbunnyrabbitz.com/2012/03/26/my-defenses-are-down/

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