January

Habit breaker

I have always been a pretty warm person, the one who doesn’t wear socks, and can be found in a t-shirt more often than not, even in the dead of winter. when I do get cold, though, I get really cold and don’t just want to be warm, I want to be hot. The older I get, the more I find the need to be warmed.

When I was young, my go to solution was to sit on the heat register. I would lie in bed in the morning and wait for the furnace to come on, then jump out of bed with my comforter. I’d settle on the vent and wrap the blanket around me so that all of the hot air was trapped inside; a wonderful tent of warm air for a few minutes to start my day. Once I figured out how to work the thermostat, I was forever getting in trouble for turning it up really high to extend this morning ritual, or sometimes having a little midday warm up.

When I moved out and started paying my own bills, I went to the other extreme. My friend Lala and I shared a two bedroom apartment in a really old house. It was a hundred-odd year old building that had been converted into five apartments. Five poorly insulated apartments that were heated with electric heat. I was frugal, so I liked to keep the apartment at about fourteen degrees celsius. Lala humoured me and allowed the common areas to be be that cold, but Kept her room a balmy tropical oasis.

It was about this time that I started using a heating pad. Sure, I’d used them in the past for various aches and pains, but now I saw it as a heat source. I never brought it to bed with me, but it kept me comfortable while I watched TV or read in the evenings. I eventually moved in with Willy, but kept the heating pad even though he kept the house MUCH warmer.

In the last few years I have noticed that the heating pad is on all the time when I am on the couch. I lounge on it in the evening, so each only seems to last me about 18 months before it stops working. The newest one is huge, and has an auto-off feature, which initially annoyed me, but likely saved me from either hurting myself or burning the house down.

I woke up this morning at 4:00 am to watch the world junior game, and got settled in to the chesterfield. I flicked on the heating pad to high and waited for it to warm me up. After a couple of minutes it was apparent that it wasn’t working, no matter how many times I flicked it on and off. The light came on, but no heat. I briefly thought about replacing it, but then decided it was ok. This was a sign, I was relying too much on the heating pad. It was time to break the habit. A few more minutes went by and I decided to try one more thing, and reached down to ensure the plug was jammed into the outlet. I wiggled it and felt the warmth on my back. That was a close one.

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September

Snap Happy

The lils have grown up with at least one camera jammed in their faces on a regular basis, and although they have recently developed and aversion to having their picture taken, they are still delighted to see the results. They would spend hours just watching the images on my computer scroll in a slideshow if I let them, and frequently ask to see the pictures that I have taken at a specific time, or on a recent trip.

Woo received a “toy” camera for Christmas when he was two. He loved to take pictures with it, but we often failed to download the pictures before the battery died. When Woo was almost four, we gave him his first “real” camera. It was my old digital point and shoot, which lay mostly unused; save for when I was going diving (I have an underwater housing for it). He was delighted, a became a very serious photographer:

The camera moved to India with us, but sadly, it was the first casualty of the marble floors in our house. He was doing some self-portraits, and in the rush to get in front of the lens before the timer went off, tripped over the tripod legs. The camera landed on the lens, and it was toast. Woo was crushed. Willy and I secretly hatched a plan to buy a replacement on eBay and have it delivered to Ottawa for our visit this past May. He was still keenly interested, and frequently directed me to take pictures of this or composed the shots that I NEEDED to take.

Under careful supervision, Willy started letting Woo use his DSLR in the spring. He seemed to like it very much, even though he was not used to needing to put his eye to the viewfinder to see the shot. They occasionally went on photowalks in the neighbourhood, but he was happiest to take pictures of his sister. His interest died down when he got the replacement camera, as he could use it all the time. His usage of Willy`s camera was heavily supervised.

A few weeks ago we went to Mysore, and Goose decided that SHE wanted to take pictures now too, and Willy`s camera and then his cellphone camera became hot commodities (I don`t share). The camera strap had to be modified for Goose`s tiny frame, but she too began wandering around, snapping like mad.

Yes, there were lots of shots of the ground, but they each took some pretty cute shots!

Goose’s Shots

I had to crouch to get in the frame 🙂

Working on focussing on the subject

Woo in front of the temple

Woo’s Shots

Hiding from the sun

This is what happens when you try to take a picture of Woo now!

Our driver, Subbu, was very amused by the two lil paparazzi

Talking a picture of me, as I took the picture of him above

I am so looking forward to fostering this in both lils!

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July

Under the sea

I fell in love with diving long before I ever took my first dive. The experiences of my brother and brother-in-law, as they got PADI certified and then told tales of their adventures opened my eyes to this whole new world, just waiting to be discovered. They had been diving for a few years before I took my first dive, but I knew immediately that they were right. It really was that great.

My first experience was in Jamaica. It was the week after a hurricane had gone through, and the seas were still pretty rough, making the visibility pretty limited. It didn’t matter. Willy and I went together, and were amazed at the sea life, coral, and assorted wrecks that we saw. We had the opportunity to see a part of the world like relatively few do, and I loved it. Many people worry that being underwater for so long may seem to be closed in or induce feelings of claustrophobia, but I found the opposite to be true. There was the wide expanse in front of you, and virtually no one else there.

Willy went on to get certified that trip, as I was still in school, and studying for some upcoming exams. My certification took me another two years, and another Caribbean trip where I was only able to do really limited dives (aka “resort certification”). I haven’t really looked back since that snowy* October weekend when two friends and I got our “open water” diver. Since that time I have over 60 dives logged, with over 2000 minutes of bottom time.

Before we had the lils, I had a pretty regular routine that included some local dives in the summer with my brother-in-law and our friend Carpet; touring the wrecks of the St. Lawrence, exploring a local quarry, or shore dives at the cottage. We also managed the occasional trip down south, where Willy and I would dive for a couple of days and read in shade for a couple of days. This has drastically tailed off since the lils arrived. Last week was a family vacation, but it was also very much an opportunity for me to dive. Willy was kind enough to watch over the lils, and I got in five dives. It was bliss, and I have a renewed interest in diving as a result.

One of the things that I noted, as I always do, is that divers are among the kindest people that you will ever meet. They are the people that will chat to you like old friends at a resort where you know no one, who will keep you company on the boat, and who will re-live the cool things that you saw over and over and over. They are also the people that you trust your life with when you are at depth, your buddies. Sadly, Willy is no longer able to be my dive buddy. He had some surgery on his ear after Goose was born that has enabled him to hear out of it again, but means that he won’t dive again. I have been encouraging both Woo and Goose, and they are quite keen, but a few years away. Until then I will have to see if my brother in law is game, and keep meeting the awesome folks on the dive boat.

*OK, only a couple of flakes fell, but it was damn cold in the St. Lawrence that day*

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July

In the drink

The lils loved their vacation in every way, but their absolute favourite activity was watching for sharks and other fish in the water. They especially loved to come to the beach bar in the evening, where the deck overlooked the water, and the aquatic activity kicked up as the sun went down. Woo and Goose would lean over the rail, hang off of the rail or lie down on the deck with their heads hanging over. All the tables around us got the stereo announcement of what was approaching, and nothing was announced with as much gusto as the sharks, especially their favourite, “denthead” (she really did have a dent on her head).

Each time they approached the deck’s railing, one of us would warn them to be careful, hold on, sit down… and they always did. Then one night Woo hadn’t quite made it onto the deck, and was standing on the short wall looking at the fish. He lost his footing and tumbled in. I was sitting on the other side of the patio, but heard the splash and yelp. I just knew who it was and what had happened, so I bolted the fifty or so feet across the deck and reached him before Willy could. Luckily, one of the staff was even faster and had fished him out. The water wasn’t deep, but he was wet, shocked, and a little embarrassed. He got lots of love, some dry clothes, and set off to watch for more sharks.

Word travelled fast in a small resort and, for the rest of the week, we were asked by some staff if our son was OK and warned by others to keep him from the edge. We were extra cautious, and made sure that they were both really, really careful at the water’s edge. In the end, both Willy and I were relieved. He was glad that Woo was in no way frightened by this experience, and gleefully resumed shark watch right away. I was relieved that Goose hadn’t pushed him in.

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June

The wrong goodbye

We live in an ex-pat community, so we often see a tonne of people moving in and out. It isn’t a huge community, but is older* and established, so most of the 300 or so houses are rarely vacant for long and moving trucks ae pretty common sight. Our street is a short and quiet street, with only six houses on it, and has been fully occupied for the last six months.

We were really happy to meet our across the street neighbours and their two children, aged three and five, shortly after we moved in. It took a few weeks, but the four lils began to play together often. Whenever one duo heard the other outside, they raced out to join in play, be it road hockey, biking, football, tennis, cricket, or various combinations of those games. They were a good fit, and enjoyed countless hours playing together. This little group was joined by two little girls in January, who moved beside us. While they didn’t play together with the lils as often, they always enjoyed their time together, especially when they were passing treasures to each other through the fence. Both of those families were planning to be in Bangalore for a long time, so we were both happy to know that the friends would be here for the rest of our stay, and sad to know that we would be breaking up these friendships in the fall.

As it goes with ex-pat life, things change. All of a sudden one family is moving home for a new job, and the other is moving because their assignment was cut short. Both of these moves happened this week. The lils knew that they were coming, but that doesn’t make it easy. Thankfully, the girls next door spent their last morning in India here, and they had a great last play date. They had fun together, took many pictures, and were ready to say goodbye when the time came.

Our across the street neighbours left without saying goodbye. The children flew to their grandparents house late Tuesday night, and did not return during the packing. The house is now empty, and their driver confirmed for us that they are not coming back. I suspected this might happen when I heard the children leaving after bedtime on Monday, and began to prepare Woo and Goose, yet I am left with the questions. “Why would they leave without saying goodbye”, and “Are you sure that they aren’t going to come back?” are the most common ones. They are left hanging, and it upsets us all.

I know that things get forgotten, and that you can’t think of everything, but I wish their parents had thought to let us know that they were leaving as the lils stopped playing together on Monday. It was obviously the last chance that they would have to play together, and saying goodbye would have been a natural thing. Instead the lils are left hanging.

*older is really a relative term, given that the community is six years old*

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June

Keeping Lakshmi

When we let our first cook go, I was certain that we would not have another cook during our stay in India. I was initially in love with the idea of a cook, but knew I was more in love with the idea of learning how to cook Indian dishes properly than I was with having someone cook for us. I actually like to cook, so figured that I would learn by osmosis, or, failing that, taking lessons.

Then Lakshmi fell into our lives. We knew after one week that she was a good fit and a good cook, and that she liked us as much as we liked her. The biggest key for us was that she made life easier. I had oodles of extra time to play with the lils now, and that just made things a little more relaxed. She started working for us part time in mid-April, with an agreement that she would start full time in June, when we returned from our Canadian vacation, and our friends (her other gig) left for their home in Minnesota. We were set.

Then, while we were in Canada, Willy got a message from our friends letting us know that Lakshmi had been offered and accepted, a full time job with another family. It was a “9-5” job, which meant that it was extremely unlikely that she would have any time to cook for us. We were crushed. We thought that we had it all figured out, that she was going to be spoiling us and the lils for the remainder of our stay in India. It stung because we were all attached to her, especially the lils. We didn’t tell them while we were in Canada, and I was dreading telling them upon our return.

The day that we arrived back in India, Lakshmi called me. I didn’t end up getting to the phone in time, but was relieved to have missed her call when I saw the call display. I was too tired to have the conversation with her and didn’t want her to be the stereotype. I had been warned about the helpers who stay with you until something better comes along, regardless of what you have pre-paid them for, or what your verbal agreement is. We knew that there was an outside chance that Lakshmi would find something else, but she assured us that she wanted to work for us, and would only be looking for something much closer to our eventual departure. We had paid her for the month of May based on that assumption and had negotiated a wage increase for her increased hours upon our return.

Monday came and Lakshmi came to the house as usual. She went to the kitchen and started cooking right away, and acted like nothing was different. When I finally worked up the nerve to ask her about the other job, she explained that she asked them to wait until we left. She couldn’t bear to leave us (ok, the lils), and asked them if she could work part time until we left. Happily they agreed! Sometimes, it just works out.

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May

Dining out

The weather on our visit to Ottawa has steadily improved over the time we have been here. I must admit that it was a shock to our systems to walk off the plane two weeks ago and be greeted by temperatures that hovered around 10°C. Thankfully Willy was also greeting us at the airport, and his arms were full of fleeces. We planned the trip so we would miss the cold, but apparently misjudged what might seem cold to our sun-spoiled selves.

As the days have passed and the temps have risen, we have started to eat more and more meals outside. We have the perfect spot on our back deck, where we are shaded by our magnificent old pine tree, yet still catch the breeze that keeps the flies at bay. Even on the hottest days (and the last couple have been pretty hot) we are able to enjoy several meals a day outside.

Willy and I sat chatting following one of these meals on Sunday. The lils were happily running around in the gardens and we were basking in the last few minutes of their day. I remarked that we had now eaten outside more on this trip than we had in our entire time in India so far. I wish that wasn’t the case, but we rarely eat outside for our family meals.

Unfortunately for us, our dinner hour is when the mosquitos tend to come out for the day, and they love us. We become their dinner, and the results aren’t pretty. I am generally the first to get eaten, and end up with huge reactions to the bites. Both lils also get their fair share of bites, and have also been known to have extreme reactions, which have included two trips to the doctor when bites near Goose’s eyes got infected. If we wait too long, we have to run inside from the foggers that try to keep the mosquito population under control, and that pretty much covers dinner hour. It becomes more pain and hassle than it is worth.

So we sat and savoured, just enjoying the moment. I was content and happy until Willy pointed out that we only had eleven more meals in Canada, so we needed to make the most of it. It made me a little sad to think that our trip home was nearing the end. It feels like we just got here

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April

Six months

Today marks the six month anniversary of our arrival as a family in India. We are halfway through the year that we committed to, and a big part of me says I can’t believe that we have been here this long, and a much smaller part says that it can’t possibly have been just six months, it must have been so much longer! India, so far, has been a wonderful but chaotic experience, filled with many great experiences, learning many new things, meeting fabulous people and making truly great friends, but also a great deal of stress, many tears, and some pretty lonely times, especially for me. That being said, I would not change a minute of it. It has really been a great six months.

A little while after we arrived, a lady that Willy met told him that she would never recommend Bangalore as a first ex-pat posting, it’s too remote, too isolating, and too hard to settle in. He nodded and smiled and then relayed the comment to me later. I initially agreed, but then later came to realize that it’s not true in our case. If we hadn’t come here first, we might never have come. This might be our only posting abroad, and I would not have wanted to miss the last six months that we have enjoyed in India.

The people here are truly the nicest people that I have ever met. We have learned so much about the mesh of cultures that make up this vast nation, yet we have only barely touched the surface. We have travelled, together and apart, to places that most Indians never get to see, yet there are so many more places I want to get to. The food here is enough of a draw, and I haven’t yet perfected the dishes that we knew we love, and have learned to love. I have taken many photographs, yet I don’t feel that I have done the people and this beautiful country justice.

There are things that bother me about this city, life in India. The traffic, the pollution, the waste, the garbage everywhere, the poverty, and the fact that there seems to be little value placed on such a large segment of the population. There are also annoyances that affect me personally, like the fact that is takes weeks to have a simple thing fixed, that nothing ever happens as it should, where it should or when it should, and little things that become symbolic and big, like the fact that I can’t get a bank account or credit card here. We’ve tried several times, and failed at each turn, so we’ve given up. It’s their loss really, given that I am the spender in the family. I am also somewhat frustrated by what I have failed to accomplish in my time here. I had big goals, and I have barely progressed on any of them. This is partially a result of some of the struggles that we have had to face, but mostly because of the struggles that I have had with settling in.

I frequently get asked about what I miss the most from home. For me, the answer is simple. I miss the people that mean so much to us, our family and friends. We are very connected to them, yet we are almost as far away from home as we can get. If there was just one thing that I could somehow bring with me, it would be them. We have been so fortunate to have friends and family come to visit, and this has eased this ache quite a bit, but we now face six months with no planned visits, nothing concrete or booked. I know that is in all likelihood going to change, that we will have some visitors, but I can’t get my hopes up. Sure, I also miss wine, cheese, Greek food, great breads and baked goods, stable electricity, clean water, diversity in climate and a few other things, but those I really can live without.

We are at a crossroads, and now is the time when we start to think seriously about what we do in October. We can either ask to stay in Bangalore, or we can go home. We’re both on the fence, but one of us is leaning towards Bangalore, and one is learning towards Ottawa. I am feeling like home is where I want to go, and Willy can see us living here for a while longer. We don’t have to make a decision today, but we really do have to make one soon. Regardless of what that decision is, we have six more months to fill with learning and exploring. We want to see more of Bangalore, more of India, and more of the south Pacific. This is our focus for the next six months.

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April

Wordless wednesday – Every day

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March

The dew nut tree

We are quite happy that the lils have great imaginations. They keep themselves entertained on long flights, long waits for toys to arrive from home, and many a long drive in and around Bangalore and beyond. They also keep up entertained, which is an added bonus.

About a month after we moved here, I began to hear the lils talk about a number of new things, one of them being dew nuts. I didn’t really ask, as I figured that they were either imaginary or a passing fad. They kept talking about them, and I got more curious, but they were never around when I asked. Then one day Woo and Goose were making a concoction with odds and sods that they found in the park, and they called it “dew nut soup”. I asked for some, mostly so I could see what it was. They served my portion, and the main ingredient was this:

None of us knew where they came from, they were just lying on the ground. They seemed to be pretty common, as they were in a few spots in the park, and near our house.

A few weeks ago I was admiring the beautiful flowering tree in our front yard:

When I looked passed the flowers and saw DEW NUTS!

Now we know where they come from, and the lils are excited to have a seemingly endless supply, to cook with, break apart and examine, and “feed” to the neighbourhood bugs and cats. I still don’t know what they are called, but I am happy with my pretty tree and the joy it brings us all, for different reasons.