We started to do an activity focused advent calendar with the lils when they were just old enough to get into the Christmas spirit. I borrowed the idea from my twitter friend, @missfish in 2008 and the daily December activities quickly became a favourite tradition for our family. I am not organized enough to have an actual advent style calendar, and often don’t have the activities planned out more than a few hours before they happen, but we’ve all been happy with the results.

Each year, I vow that it will be different, but as I sit down tonight to try and plan out the month (yes, I realize that we are already two days into the month), I can see that it’s not going to be too different from previous years. Yes, we’ll still be working without a firm plan for a lot of the days, but thanks the fact that I have at least recorded the activities from previous years, I know that we will be doing all of the things that we love to do as a family.

Again this year, we have decided to make a concentrated effort on helping to support those in our community who are less fortunate. As the lils get older, we want to involve them as much as possible. It’s important to us that they see us trying to help those who are less fortunate than we are, teaching them to be giving and empathetic. We are very thankful for our happiness, health, and home, and we know that others are not as fortunate. We want to show our children together can do something to help.

I often get asked how we can include small children in this charitable giving. Here is a list of the activities that we have participated in the past, or investigated for this year. Some represent a monetary donation, a donation of time, and some require both. Not all are applicable for families with young children, but I am going to try and get them involved in as many as possible! It is always best to check with the recipient of your donation to see what age is appropriate for participation. Some will encourage the participation of little ones, but others might require that they be excluded or take a limited role.

The Ottawa Foodbank  is a local institution that helps to feed families in need, as well as supply food to shelters and other programs for their meals. This month, we will be targeting their “most needed list” with a donation each time we shop. While volunteers generally need to be over 14, they may have some options for family volunteer activities, providing the children are 6 or older. You can volunteer together to do things like work in the warehouse, do office work, or work at special events. The volunteer contact information is on their website.

The Christmas Exchange also seeks to provide assistance with feeding families in need, through the Christmas hamper and store vouchers programs. When I was a child, we used to always do Christmas baking while listening to their Christmas Cheer broadcast on CFRA. This year’s Christmas Cheer broadcast will be held on Friday, December 6th. It’s a good opportunity to listen to some Christmas carols, and make a donation if you are able.

The Shepherds of Good Hope, and many local churches and houses of worship (many of Ottawa’s houses of worship are listed here) also have programs where you can “adopt” a family, and build a hamper containing food for Christmas dinner, essential goods and small gifts. You can see if your family can help to build a hamper by purchasing the items they need, pack hampers and wrap gifts, deliver hampers right before Christmas, or adopt a family and do all of those activities. With the Shepherds, when you call (613-233-7007), you can be matched to a family that is in great need, but that meets your wishes (ie size or location). You then contact the family representative and discuss what their needs AND wishes are. There are opportunities for younger children to help out in all aspects of this process, but some tasks may be more suitable than others. We have elected to gather and deliver the hamper to the family that we were matched up with, so our lils will have a significant role.

Many local elementary, middle, and high schools, churches, and community associations also get involved with food drives, charitable fundraisers like bake sales and holiday meals. These drives and events provide a great opportunity to talk about those less fortunate, and why you support the activities. You can help out by volunteering with your child in preparation for the event, gathering donations, baking, cooking, or helping out at the event. School, church, and community run events generally offer great opportunities for children of ALL ages to help out. Please check with your local school, community association, or church to see what they have planned.

There are a few institutions in Ottawa that host holiday meals in the days leading up to Christmas, starting in early December! This presents an opportunity for those looking to volunteer, but not on Christmas day. In addition to using volunteers on that day, they may have a need for volunteers in preparation for meal. The Mission is one that holds the meal in advance of Christmas – it’s December 22nd this year. My lils are still too small to help out with the serving at the Mission, but have been baking desert for them for years! We will be baking cupcakes through Cupcakes 4 Christmas again this year. This is one of our favourite things to do, as there are always a few extra cupcakes! I am not sure if they need any more bakers for this year, but you can contact either organization to see what they need.

This year is our second year contributing to the creation of prepared and delivered meals through Essence Catering. Chef Jason and his team collect all the ingredients that are needed to cook up full meals for needy families in our community, spend the hours leading up to Christmas prepping the meals, then go out and deliver them to the families. Last year we contributed some turkeys, and I am waiting to hear what they need from us this year.

A number of local restaurants and houses of worship also hold free meals for those less fortunate on Christmas day. Many accept food donations, as well as need volunteers on Christmas day to help out. If you cannot make it on Christmas day, they also accept food donations in advance. There are a number of participating restaurants listed here.

In the lead up to Christmas, we will also try to bring some toys to children in need. This can be accomplished in a couple of ways. Each year we do two things; go shopping as a family and pick out toys or games that our children would like, but donate them to Toy Mountain, who only accept new toys; and we clean out our toy bins, and donate the toys and books that we don’t use any more to a shelter (the Community Information Centre of Ottawa has a searchable database to help find shelters), or church, or a thrift store. Thrift stores, like the Saint Vincent de Paul take all sorts of donated goods, including toys, and help out lower income families by offering them for sale at low cost, or in some cases, giving the goods to needy families.

Finally, we will be gathering up our old snow suits to donate to the Snowsuit Fund, which will pass them on to children in need. My lils have fun helping us by gathering the pieces and matching up hats, mitts and boots, and then dropping them off with us.

Hope that this gives you some ideas for how you and your family can help out!

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This past Saturday was like most of our Saturday mornings; it started with an early morning rise and the four of us heading to the rink. I’ve secretly longed for these mornings, even though I know that they mean the end to sleeping in for the foreseeable future.  It pleases me greatly that both lils want to play hockey.  Neither Willy nor I played much as children, but have both grown to love it as adults.

Goose skates first on these mornings, followed immediately by Woo’s age group.  When she is finished, we either hang out and watch Woo, or find something to entertain us in the lobby.  This week, we had just gotten into the lobby when one of the dads from Woo’s group passed by.  He noted that she was in her long johns (which she wears under her gear) and told her, unprompted, that “real hockey players don’t play in their pajamas.”

Poor Goose’s reaction was telling. Her face fell, and all the joy and excitement that she derived from the hour on the ice was gone. I looked at him angrily and dismissively told him that she IS a REAL hockey player, then turned to face her and talk about the awesome hockey that she has been playing. It took a little bit of convincing, followed by a little bit of lobby hockey, but she moved on and was thankfully unaffected.  The dad went away without another word, and I am somewhat glad.  As restrained as I was, I had a few more choice words that were just itching to be said.

I’d like to think that it was just a stupid comment, made by someone that just didn’t think before he spoke, but that just gives him a pass that he doesn’t deserve.  He may have been having a bad day, or trying to be funny, but that doesn’t matter. His comment belittled both her choice of clothes, and her identity as a hockey player.  It was mean, especially to a child who is not quite five.  I’d can’t help but think that he wouldn’t have said that to a little boy, as much I hate to think this is because she is a girl.

What he doesn’t know is that I have spent a lot of the last year convincing Goose that girls do play real hockey.  She knew she loved to play with us at the house, but the only ice hockey that she saw, especially when we were in India, was NHL hockey.  She was shocked when I started going to the rink last fall, as it never crossed her mind that any girls played.  From there it took a work to get to the fact that little girls play. She was super excited to sign up, but is now one of a few girls in a mixed group of about sixty little people.  She feels that she belongs here, and shouldn’t have anyone telling her otherwise.

In the end, Goose is still happy to be playing hockey and seems to have forgotten all about the comment. Several of my friends with older girls in hockey have offered to have them mentor Goose to ensure that she continue to see girls in hockey, something that I am very grateful of.  I’m still irked and a little sad that he made the comment at all.

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We read the Junie B. Jones story where she loses her first tooth in May, before either lil had lost a tooth.  They were instantly fascinated, not by the money that came from the tooth fairy, but by the tooth-shaped necklace that Junie got to carry her tooth around in when she lost her tooth at school.  Woo and Goose thought that was the coolest thing EVER, but didn’t actually believe that this cool necklace could exist.

As luck would have it, a boy in their class lost his tooth at school that week, and, much to their surprise, he got a necklace.  When Woo saw this, he became focussed, jiggling his one loose tooth only on Monday through Thursdays; hoping that he would lose it at school.  Sadly for him it came out at home and he missed out on the necklace. His next few teeth fell out over the summer, where there was no hope of a necklace, so we all pretty much forgot about it.

Forgot, that is, until Goose lost her first tooth at school a few weeks ago.  She was so pleased with that little necklace.  As soon as Woo saw it, he became a boy obsessed.  He had one wiggly tooth left, and he was desperate to lose at school now.  Woo started wiggling it all the time, a fact that was not lost on his teacher.  Woo started coming home with helpful tips on a fairly regular basis, all of which were attributed to his teacher. Some of my favourites include; ‘I need to eat an apple, it will knock it out’, ‘the apple that you sent in was too soft, it won’t knock it out’, ‘I need to hold the tooth with something to get a better grip’, ‘I could tie something around the tooth and yank’, and ‘maybe Daddy will help me pull it out’.

Just when I thought we were going to hear that Woo could tie a string around the tooth and a doorknob, it happened.

I am certain that no one was happier to see an end to all that wiggling than Woo’s teacher, likely because Woo’s desk is right beside the teacher’s desk.  Little does he know that Woo did not offer the tooth up to the tooth fairy tonight.  He’s a big fan of the necklace, wants to keep the tooth in it, and maybe start wearing it to school every day.  If I don’t let him do that, he is proud to report that he has two more loose teeth now.

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There is nothing like the first few minutes with your child after you return from a trip.  It’s happiness and love and filled with hugs.  That’s what it was like yesterday with Woo, upon my return from Blissdom.  He leapt into my arms and joyfully filled my ears with tales from the weekend.  Goose, on the other hand, was a different story.  She arrived in tears and clung to me.  She started by telling me about the crimes that her brother had just committed by pushing her out of the way to get to me, and ended with telling me about getting lost in the tunnels. 

My heart skipped a beat, and I calmed her enough to tell me about the tunnels.  From what I could piece together, there is an exhibit at the Science and Technology Museum that involves some slides or tunnels and Goose was in them, alone, and got lost.  She didn’t know where to go or what to do so she just stood there and cried til her brother found her.  Irrational me immediately thought about what sort of person would send a four year-old girl into the tunnels, alone, crying – likely for hours and finally sending a six year old deep inside to rescue her.  Willy. That terrible, horrible monster.

Rational me took over and I talked to her about how awesome it was that Woo looked out for her and how the tunnels were still such a fun place, and then waited to talk Willy about it later.  Sure enough, it wasn’t that big of a deal.  Goose had successfully navigated the tunnels once, she just got turned around. When Goose didn’t come out of the one slide (there were only two), Willy sent Woo down the path to the other slide while he waited at the bottom to make sure that she wasn’t alone when she did pop out.

The reality is that our lils are growing up, and we want them to be independent, so they are going to get stuck in tunnels occasionally.  She was fine, and it is not likely to have any sort of lasting impression.  I, on the other hand, need to make sure that it is the rational me that lets the lils go off into the tunnels of the world, knowing that they are going to get lost on occasion.  Getting lost is part of it.

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