December

Giving back

One of the things that I focussed on during last year’s 25 days of Christmas was giving back to those in need in our community. Several of our activities centred around preparing donations, making the donations, and talking about those who have a much greater need than we do. We feel that it is important that the lils know that there are people who are way less fortunate than they are living right in our city, and we want them to feel that they can and should give back.

This year is very different. It is abundantly clear that there are people that are less fortunate than us in Bangalore. We see it every day, pretty muh the minute that we step outside. While I will continue to support organizations in my home community, I also want us to help those in the community where we are now. The question for me has not been whether to do it, but how to make contributions that actually make a difference. I have been receiving daily emails from one of the ex-pat groups that I belong to, asking for donations or assistance. Sadly none of them have been in a place or time that the lils can contribute, and I want to do more than just give money and tell Woo and Goose about it. I want them to feel like they helped too.

This week I received an email from the school, and a notice came home in the lil’s diaries. It talked of three local institutions that our school was doing a fundraising drive for, and asked if we would help out. Woo read this notice in the car on the way home, and was clearly impacted by the contents. “Did you know that there is a school right near ours where the children have no crayons to draw with? And an older school where they have no dishes to eat on? Or a home where ladies have not toothbrushes?” I originally thought that the school had taught him all of this, but Willy tells me he read the letter several times. He has really focussed on the simple things that are needed, and that makes it a great place to include Woo and Goose. This was exactly the type of activity that I had hoped to build into the Christmas countdown.

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December

Wordless Wednesday – Lal Bagh Gardens

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December

The famous Woo

When the lils started school, it was Woo that I worried about. They were both leaving a very loving and comfortable group, moving to a school where they knew no one. it was going to be an adjustment for both, but I thought that Goose would be OK. She is at an age where she still just floats around. No one wants to play with her? She plays alone. She doesn’t want to play with anyone? She just sits and watches. It’s a good age. Woo, on the other hand, is right where friendship starts to matter. School aged lils start to notice when the others embrace or reject them, I didn’t know what was going to happen, so I fretted.

It turned out that I did have some concerns with Goosie. She had a really hard time being away from her brother for the first time ever. Everyday of the first week of school, she came home and said “no friends today” in this sad little voice. She started to have problems with drop off, and really didn’t like school for a short time. We focused our energy on helping her adjust and I stopped worrying about Woo, for the most part.

That is not to say that there weren’t the occasional things that made me raise an eyebrow about Woo’s days. Times like when he came home and told me about the girl who told him she would only be his friend when no one else was there; the day I saw a boy trying really hard to push him down as they walked up the lane towards me; when he complains that they are the ONLY KIDS IN THE WORLD who have to have a quiet time at home; or when he reported that the teachers had given him the “secret job” of telling when other lils throw toys (because those kids are always the most popular). Nothing serious, just little things that I watched.

This week it has become clear that things are going well. Woo has one little friend that he is really tight with, a very sweet little boy. Each day when we arrive, different children either yell hello to him from the second floor balcony of the classroom, or gather excitedly to him in the classroom. He gleefully tells us of all the friends that he plays with each day. The teachers all seem to love him, telling me what a kind and considerate boy he is, and many of the parents know him by name as we pass by them. Then yesterday one of the moms, after being introduced to him, said “Oh! So this is the famous Woo!” I think he is going to be just fine. Although I am a little worried about just what he is famous for…

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December

O Christmas Tree

This past Saturday we set off on one our our favourite holiday traditions, the family search for our Christmas tree. I have always loved getting the tree, and some of my favourite Christmas memories are of getting trees with my family as a child. Willy and I have continued the tradition of decorating real trees, and have historically taken the family to precut tree lots. Had we been in Canada this year, we were going to go to a “cut your own lot” for a new twist!

Being new to Bangalore, I didn’t really know where to look for trees. I wasn’t even sure that there would be Christmas trees of any sort available, given that the population is very much non-christian. Happily, there are a number of decorations in the stores, including some fake trees. We were more interested in a little tree that would be kept (alive) in a pot and available for planting at a later date, so we started looking at alternatives to traditional pines. Tops of my list were either a Christmas hibiscus, or a Christmas palm tree. We found what was reported to be a large nursery and set off.

The nursery was actually in the middle of Lal Bagh Gardens, a massive and beautiful park just south of the downtown core. We spent a couple of hours wandering around admiring the trees, flowers, and wildlife. It really is an amazing park that I want to go visit some more. It was about an hour from our house, but we packed a picnic lunch and had a nice time.

The visit concluded with a trip to the nursery. We had two tired lils, but the promise of a Christmas tree perked them up, and soon they were running around and goofing off among the plants. After our first pass, we found some flimsy palms, and no hibiscus trees. I wasn’t sure the palms were going to cut it, so I wandered a little deeper, and found the perfect little tree! It’s about four feet tall, and a smidge Charlie Brown. It has soft, short needles, and branches that will be strong enough to hold whatever we come up with for ornaments. It is a pine, but a more tropical type of pine, one that is seen growing in some places in Bangalore, including one on our street! Near as I can tell, it is a “Cook Pine”, also known as the Christmas tree pine. Fitting.

The lils loved it so much that we needed to get them each smaller versions. So we now have three trees, ready for some decorating. They aren’t quite the tropical tree that I envisioned, but the will do just fine!

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December

The big countdown

This is the first time that I will have ever spent Christmas outside of Canada, let alone in the tropics. Sure, I have gone south just before and just after Christmas, but this is different. This is the entire Christmas season away from home. I admit that December has snuck up on me somewhat, though I am pretty excited that it is finally here. Not only does this month bring a PILE of family birthdays (mine included!), it brings Christmas too!

It is pretty important to me that the lils experience of India doesn’t leave them feeling like they are missing out, so I have tried to bring traditions with us. One of these traditions it pretty new to us, and it’s all thanks to Andrea from a peek inside the fishbowl. This is the second year that we will be celebrating the countdown to Christmas with a month full of family friendly, holiday themed activities!! Andrea’s family has been doing this for a number of years (though they scaled it back this year), and this is our second year. The idea is a twist on the modern tradition of candy or toy filled advent calendars. I loved the idea as soon as I read the post, and knew that we had to do it. We loved doing it last year.

Given that December snuck up on me, I am the first to admit that we don’t have a full list written out. Part of this is because a number of my items from last year required either snow or more than an insignificant portion of the population actually celebrating Christmas, and the rest is because that is how I role. we did get our first day’s activity in, writing letters to Santa. Well I wrote what the lils dictated. Woo went first, followed by Goose, and here is what they gave me, word for word, with no prompting:

Now we just have to figure out how to get these to Santa in time for the big day!

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November

This is my dance space

This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine

It’s one of my favourite lines from the movie Dirty Dancing. Johnny uses it when he is trying to teach Baby to dance, and she keeps “invading” his personal space. It is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, as the two are already lovers, and he seems to be enjoying the fact that Baby can’t respect his dance space. It’s a cute scene and the expression has stuck with me. I have used it a lot, both in seriousness and in jest, when people get a little bit to close to my dance space. Since moving to India, I feel that I now need to come up with a tactful and appropriate variation for the lils.

The first few weeks that we lived here were pretty much all business. We arrived, moved, set up house, and started school and work. We didn’t pay much attention to people around us, and we didn’t do much exploring. As we have become more settled that has changed, and we are starting to go out more and to play in our community. One of our very first outings was on Diwali, and we were somewhat mobbed by a large group of people at one point. They were very happy and celebratory, and just wanted to take pictures, but also touch the lils faces and hair, and hug and kiss them. We were all taken aback, but mostly OK with this. Then it started happening a little bit more on a smaller scale. We were walking at the Nandi Hills, and Goose was scooped up for a picture. We were at the Zoo, and school children kept coming up to Woo and squeezing his cheeks. Every time we walk anywhere, I get asked to stop and pose with the lils, or have them pose with random strangers. It even happens when we are riding our bikes in our neighbourhood.

Last weekend we were at the zoo again for Goose’s birthday. We were having a great day, and the lils were happily roaming the paths from animal to animal. At one point Goose ran from me to Willy and Woo, a distance of about 100m. When she was about halfway there, she went passed a group of women, one of whom grabbed her arm. Goose tried to keep running, but the woman would not let go. I ran up, yelling at her to please let go and to be gentle. When I got to Goose, she was shaken and a little hurt. I picked her up, told the woman that she shouldn’t do that and caught up to the boys. I was a little shaken myself.

That event strikes me as the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. Since that time, I have noticed that both lils are newly painfully shy with strangers. Neither will speak to anyone they don’t know and Goose has taken to wearing a hat a lot more in public. It is a hat that she can hid under. They grab our legs and turn away when people talk to them now. Drop-off at school became much more of a struggle, in part because the teachers wait at the gate to get the children safely in the school grounds and off the busy road. This is well meaning, but to the lils, it is just another large group of people they barely know reaching out for them.

Some of these we can work on with the lils. We spoke to the school, came up with a solution that works for both of us, and have no more tears at drop off. We have spent some time letting the lils know that in public, people do this because they are curious, but that that doesn’t mean that the lils have to engage them. I ask that Woo and Goose remain polite, and simply say “no thank you” if they are bothered, or that they tell us so that we can say it. We also tell the people that they have to ask the lils, and if they don’t reply or say no, it has to be respected. The problem is that it isn’t respected. It’s hard enough to get them to pose for MY camera, so I am not going to force the lils to pose for a stranger’s picture. They should just be able to enjoy their India experience without worrying about being pinched, prodded, grabbed, and hugged and kissed. I just have to come up with a catchy way to tell people.

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November

Happy Day

Finally. I had a great day. Possibly the best day since we have moved to India. It’s a relief, a pleasure, and a promise of more to come.

Goose`s class went on a field trip today, and I accompanied. I was mostly going to try and help with her morning transition to school issues, but they have mostly resolved themselves in the last two days. Resolved to the point where she kept telling me to leave this AM before the group left for the trip! A little part of me was also going to check out other peoples houses. This was the point of the trip, the culmination of their learning unit on house styles. Who doesn’t love peeking in other peoples houses?

There were a number of parents on the trip, so I met a number of new people. The buses were full, so I car pooled with two lovely moms, and had plenty of opportunity to talk with and get to know them a bit. I really enjoyed talking with them and connecting. One of the moms has children in both Woo and Goose’s classes, lils that my lils play very nicely with, and consider friends. We have a full family play date planned with them for tomorrow. I think that Willy and I are more excited about this than the lils.

Our trip went long, so we arrived a school with little time left it the day. On a whim, I snatched the lils and played a bit of afternoon hookie (with cookies). We played, danced, napped and just hung out. The highlight was our daily street hockey game, much to the entertainment of all who wandered by.

The day ended with many giggles, cuddles and a surprise call to one of my best friends. This is normal, and I could get used to it.

I even took a picture that I really like.

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November

Three

Dear Goose:

Today you are three. As I listen to you happily singing yourself to sleep in the next room, I am thinking of the year that has passed. You have continued to grow and amaze me, every day. This year brought tremendous change in your life, change you have handled so well. I am so proud of you in many ways.

You have continued to show your love for all of those near to you. You love to love, and give it so freely. A hug from you makes me feel like there is no one else as special to you in the world. My heart swells every time. You do the same for your father and brother too. This is but one way that it is wonderful to see that you and your brother are becoming such great friends, even if it means that you get into oodles of trouble together. I secretly admire the fact that you are now often the ringleader, convincing him to try your crazy ideas. You keep forging your own path and standing up for your self, but do it with kindness and care, and a little bit of your minx-like humour too.

I love to watch you learn and explore. You tackle any task with gusto, and work until you succeed. We can no longer measure the things that you can say or do, because we can’t keep up. Most days bring new skills and accomplishments, or renewed efforts to master tasks that have stumped you. I love to just watch it happen. This year you started skating, riding a bike, swimming with very little help, started school, become a world traveller, and continued to develop into a wonderful little person, running every step of the way.

I love you my amazing little girl!
mama

Helping with the baking

Testing the boundaries (she stayed within them)

Learning to skate

Joy!

She comes from a big family of readers

Hanging with her bud

First day of school

Bike rider!

Monkey faces. Guess whose idea?

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November

Adventures in language

Today was a PD day, so we set off bright and early to finally complete our “foreign resident registration”. We were supposed to have completed it within two weeks of arrival, but were clearly behind. It is very much a process, one that involves many steps and much waiting. The keys, as far as I can tell are to arrive before the office opens and line up to be in the very first batch of people processed, and to pay a third party to do all the paperwork and walk you through the steps. We were finished within three hours, which is pretty good.

The lils had to accompany us, and were great through the morning. As a treat, I planned to bring them to the aquarium. They love fish, I love fish, and we don’t have one at home. We have been meaning to go for a few weeks, but this was the first time it all fell together. Sadly, I forgot to grab the address so asked Subbu, our driver, if he knew where it was. He did, and we started driving. About 35 minutes later we pulled up to a small pet store. I am pretty sure that something was lost in the translation.

Subbu is a great driver and this is the first time he has led us down the wrong path in the five weeks that we have been here. He’s a quiet fellow, one who we have quickly become attached too. Both lils love him, and the feeling is mutual. He spoils them, much to our delight. When we are all in the car together, one of us sits in the front, and the other between the lils. We were travelling like this yesterday, when I realized that Willy and I had switched into French, as we often do when we want to talk about something without involving the lils. I explained this to Subbu, as I didn’t want him to think that we were talking about him. He seemed to appreciate the beauty of having a secret language with small children, as he has two of his own. Willy then asked how many languages he spoke, as many people in India are multi-lingual. He let us know that it was just the local languages, only five or six! Somehow the fact that I can barely speak two pales in comparison.

The lils are learning two new languages in school, Spanish and Hindi. They seem to be picking up a little bit, and are intrigued by the idea that they will have a secret language of their own soon. Clearly they don’t realize that I can never seem to figure out what all their made up words mean. We have noticed that the lils have started to incorporate the local dialect into their speech. Some common examples include dust bin for garbage can, bathing costume for swim suit, atta for flour, dahi for yogurt, speed hump instead of speed bump, and flyover for overpass. My absolute favourite is snarl, which is used to describe a traffic jam. They spend much of their time in the car hunting for snarls and delighting when they find themselves in one!