6
March

Drivin’ in my car…

When we moved here, we decided that we would buy a minivan, use it for the year, and sell it when we left.  We figured that this was the best option for us, and went so far as to put a deposit on a Toyota Innova (basically a Sienna) before we left on our look-see trip.

Unfortunately, delivery on the van was expected to be about three weeks after we arrived with the family, so we needed to make other arrangements for our first month.  Willy got a referral from a colleague for a driver that came with his own car and was willing to take us on for one month.  He proved to be very friendly, competent, and great with the lils, and we were feeling sad to be losing him as delivery day drew near.  Turns out he was also happy with our family, so the week that we were to take delivery on the car, we cancelled it and hired Subbu for the year.  We have never looked back, and we don’t think he has either.  If nothing else, I know that the antics of the lils at least amuse him….

Every now and again I am reminded of how good we have it. Like when Willy’s Mum and I took a taxi to the airport, and the driver’s GPS had to warn him to slow down, as he was driving too fast (which is hard to do on Bangalore roads). Or the man the drove us from Kochi to Alleppey like he was driving the Indy 500 dekeing in and out of traffic, squealing off the highway to get gas, and stopping on a dime with no warning.  For the most part, these were minor faults for driver’s that just could not meet the standard that Subbu has set.

This past weekend’s driver, however, was really bad.  He picked us up at the airport in Delhi, as arranged, and we headed off on the long ride to Agra.  We quickly noticed that he was the type of driver that liked to surge ahead and break, surge ahead and break in traffic.  While this is just a minor annoyance for Willy and I, it is the very driving style that makes Goose carsick.  Sure enough, not one hour into the ride, she was sick.  We spoke to the driver, and asked him to take it easy, but even though he understood, he did not change his driving style.  It was a long and uncomfortable ride for poor Goose.

We arrived in Agra, and let him know that we would text our plans to him, but that it would likely mean an early pickup, so one of us could visit the Taj Mahal at dawn.  Later that day, he called to confirm, but we didn’t have plans set. Willy talked to me and called back within five minutes, but received no response, despite numerous calls and texts.  After a couple of hours with no response, it was  to look like he was going to get stranded, so we made back-up plans with the hotel for a 6:00 am pick-up.  It was a good thing we did, as the driver never contacted us or showed.  He finally called at 9:30 when we were at the Taj Mahal, and gave us excuses about his phone not working, and how calls to our hotel room were unanswered from 5:00am on.  We knew this to be a lie, as I was up, and missed no call on any phone in the room.

We asked him to wait for us at the hotel, and headed back at our leisure. The driver did successfully take Willy and the lils to Agra Fort, and took the family to dinner that night.  The last straw for me, as when he flicked on the tv, and started watching a movie as he was driving us back to the hotel! He could not wait to watch it, even though the drive was a mere five minutes, and I could not wait to be rid of this driver.

We headed back to Delhi on Sunday morning, and the ride was much like the ride down to Agra. Many rough starts and stops, a green Goose, and a horn worn out from too much honking.  I think the lils had had enough at this point, as they made several pointed comments, along the lines of: Subbu is a good driver, why didn’t Subbu come with us, and I miss Subbu…  We were all so happy to see him waiting at the airport for us when we got home!!

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29
February

Wordless wednesday – lil people, big trees

Woo

Goose

Beautiful big tree

Lil people, big tree

Goose in a tree

Big tree

Smiley guy

1 comment

27
February

My habit

Everyone copes with life’s curve balls in different ways.  One of the first little unexpected “hardships” that life in India threw at me was that our shipment took longer than we anticipated.  In that shipment was my stash of coffee and the drip coffee maker that I love.  I thought that the instant iced coffee I’d brought with me, and the local coffee shops would get me through to this rough patch of under three weeks.  Three stretched into over four weeks, and I found myself out of all coffee with no good coffee nearby. I had to turn to instant.

I managed to get myself through this difficult patch by melting a small square of chocolate into my coffee. It didn’t magically make it taste better, but it made it bearable.  I was very happy to get my stash when the shipment arrived, but I continued to buy the chocolate.

It’s Dairy Milk, a bar that I have fond memories of eating as a child. That could be why I kept picking up one bar at the grocery store, smuggling it into the house and hiding it in the freezer. It was my treat, and I didn’t share.  When I faced some difficulty, I got some satisfaction at smashing the frozen bar on the counter, to break it up into bite-sized pieces, and later slipping in to the kitchen to just grab a piece to help me deal with whatever troubles I faced.

Last week was a frustrating week, and I noticed that my consumption increased from one bar to two.  Two BIG bars.  Then Willy caught me digging into my stash, and gave me a worried look when I told him that this was how I smoothed out the curve balls.  it made me pause.  The kicker, however, was what the lils did at the birthday party they were attending yesterday.  Their loot bags contained miniature versions of the very chocolate bar that I have been sneaking into the house.  Woo looked at his and said, “Oh, this is for you, mommy!” Goose just handed it to me, saying, “Here, this is your kind of chocolate!”

Apparently I am not as good at smuggling the bars into the cart, house, and freezer as I thought.  Maybe it’s time to find a new way to deal with the monkey wrenches that come my way.

4 comments

22
February

Wordless wednesday – At the beach

Happiness is ...

Beach Goats

Lil diva

Crabby

Lonely hut

Pretty shell

3 comments

20
February

The yeller

We are very lucky, in that the people that we have working for us, our “helpers” as the lils call them, are great. They are hardworking, trustworthy, and most importantly, they do an awesome job. Prior to moving to Bangalore, I had read that these qualities might be hard to come by. We kept an open mind, and are glad to have easily found people that contradict those claims.

We have had a little bit more difficulty with getting work done with some contractors and third parties. I think part because there is a very strong need to adhere to chain of command, and the workers will not carry out a task unless it is the one that they were sent to do, even if they can and the problem is related. The flipside is that labour is VERY cheap in India, so a lot of these people are not making a great wage. It seems that there is little motivation to do some work, or work above the minimum required.

We try to be pretty easy going about the little things that need some love in the house, but we have had a few issues in the last six weeks or so that have needed attention. Our landlord has a handyman that is supposed to stop by every Wednesday, so I kept thinking “oh, I will mention this to handyman when he is here this week”, only to notice that the week would end and he hadn’t come by. Then the hot water heater in our bathroom started leaking enough to make a mess and waste a decent amount of water, so we called the landlord with a list and another complaint that the handyman was not coming by. Handyman showed up that day, ascertained that the water heater, some taps, and possibly our oven all needed replacing, and claimed to set the ball in motion on those.

Three weeks go by, and he hasn’t come back. The water heater is apparently going to be replaced by the manufacturer, but the oven is still wonky, the taps are still leaking, and we woke up this morning to a puddle on the floor in the kitchen. We make another call, and again note that the handyman is not coming by weekly.

I do a quick inspection and deduce two things, the tap is now leaking a significant amount (about three liters per hour, judging by how quickly it fills a measuring cup) and the fix that he used when the sink was leaking in early January is no longer holding. It could be because this fix was electrical tape. Now, I am not a plumber, or an electrician, but I have done my fair share of minor plumbing repairs, and installed the pump at the cottage more than a few times. I know that electrical tape is for … electrical work.

As luck would have it, when handyman looks, the sink is not leaking. I have been trying not to use the sink, and have not been using the hot water, which makes it worse… so of course it is not working. I explain this to him, and he responds that it is OK. The lils pull me away as I am telling him that it is NOT OK, and I come back to him still in the kitchen, looking ready to leave. I ask what he is going to do to fix it, and he again tells me that it is OK, it is fixed.

This is when I lose it a little, and become the crazy angry lady that yells, I am sure (even though I just hardened my voice and raised it a smidge, really). “It is NOT fixed,” I say, “You did nothing. Ask Willy, ask my maid, they both saw the puddle. Do you think that I imagined that? That I made that up? If it happens again and one of the lils slips and hurts their head* I am going to be REALLY ANGRY.“ Handyman gave me a frightened look and set to work on actually fixing the leaks under the sink. He took it all apart, retaped and glued as necessary. This fix might actually hold!

*because they ALWAYS hurt their heads*

3 comments

16
February

When it rains…

This isn’t about the weather*…

Poor Goose has been having a rough week. She started of with a mangled finger and it has gone downhill from there. Every time I turn around, she has a new nick, scrape, or bruise. I know that this means that she is just playing hard and trying to keep up with her bigger and faster brother, but COME ON. Her body is covered with scabs and bruises, and I get quizzed almost every day at school. This lil girl needs a rest from the owies.

She is my lil toughie, and will actually handle pain pretty well for a three year old. Or a thirty year old, really. I knew that she had hurt herself this afternoon when I heard the wail. She and Woo were in the back yard and I was preparing supper. I went out as soon as I heard her, she saw me and started running. Sadly she failed to adjust for the height difference between the grass and the patio. She transitioned poorly, tripped and hit her knees, elbows, and finally her forehead. I grabbed her up and she hugged me so tightly, as if to say “Protect me mama, make it stop”. If only I could.

I was talking with her Auntie last night and mentioned that Goose loves the band aids that she sent for Christmas. Auntie mentioned that she would make sure Goose got some more. I think we’ll need a case.

*on the weather, though… For the record? It hasn’t rained (or precipitated at all) this year. Not once!

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13
February

Some lessons are harder than others

As a parent, I hate to see my lils hurt. I expect a certain number of scrapes or bruises, and try to let the lils play hard enough that they earn those marks. I’d say that they do, judging by the number of bandaids that we go through, and the endless stream of owies that get kissed her. I have fears though, fears that they will really hurt themselves one day. I tend to get anxious about certain things, horsing around on stairs (stairs petrify me), running on the wet pool deck, riding their bikes in traffic, and anything to do with doors. Sadly, we seem to have one child that has recently started to slam doors, and one child who likes to loiter exactly in the door frame.

We were just hanging around the house yesterday, after a lunch out. It was quiet time, but the little monkeys were monkeying around, as they are known to do. Willy was in with Woo trying to finish his story, and Goose was bouncing around, alternating between calling downstairs to me and going to “check in” on the boys. I told her to go to her room, that I was coming up to get her settled. She didn’t though, she went to Woo’s room instead. As I started walking up the stairs, I heard them talking, followed by a slam, then this awful scream. I ran, yelling “open the door, open the door”, but they couldn’t hear me through her screaming and the thick door. It was merely seconds, but it seemed to take me an eternity to get to her. I opened the door, scooped her up and let Willy know what had happened.

She was still screaming and I tried to calm her on my way to the freezer. It was starting to work, then she both realized that it REALLY hurt, and actually looked at the damage. Her poor index finger was slightly dented, cut and bleeding, and the nail was already purple. Her upset reached new heights. Woo and Willy followed us down, trying to help to calm her. The only thing that did work was covering the finger with a facecloth, and that would only last til the next throb of pain. We managed to get ice on it, and gave her a dose of advil to help with the pain. It eventually kicked in and and she collapsed into bed for a nap.

Woo was very contrite and Goose pretty skittish for the rest of the day. While it pains me to see that my little girl was hurt, a little piece of me hoped that this would help them both learn to be careful around doors. We talked about it, and they agreed that they needed to be more careful. Today, we had three close calls with fingers almost getting squished. Apparently this is one lesson that has not sunk in.

Her finger today, poor lil Goosie.

 

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9
February

I will spoil your fun too

Apparently I am that mom. The one that sucks all of the fun out of life for the lils. I make them clean their hands before eating, tidy up after they have played, have a quiet time in the afternoon when no other kid in the world does! and I don’t let them pick through their food and ditch the vegetables or watch more than a smidge of TV. For the most part they barely notice these evil things that I do and make them do, but some days they let me know loudly and clearly how unfair I am.

It became apparent to me this week that it is not just their fun that I spoil.

The older girls who were rude to my lils by not saying hi to them and giggling and pointing at them? I let them know that that was not nice. My lils were trying to be friendly and make friends. I thought these girls needed to know that you don’t have to be rude to someone just because you don’t want to be their friend. It’s an important life skill. It wasn`t the first time that this scene had played out, and I didn`t want my lils or those girls to think it was OK. I stopped their giggles and fun.

The bigger kids that were hogging the free merry-go-round in the park this weekend? I told them to get off, so the much younger children, who were waiting patiently through multiple rides, could have a turn. When they told me that they wouldn’t get off and were “saving” the spot for some other friend who was not present, I just helped the small children into the saved seat, then asked my own two to get off so more lils could have a turn. It made them all wait an eternity of the three minute ride before they could hop on again.

The bigger girl that was forcing the smaller girls off the monkey bars in the park was told to stop. Her nanny wasn’t doing anything, and she was intimidating the little girls who were having a good time. They were getting nervous, and I didn’t want them to fall. She left shortly after I told her.

The worst offence of the week happened yesterday. The lils had the neighbours over and were playing upstairs. Well, our guests were playing, and my two were at war with each other. There were screams and punches, pinches and names called. I spent the better part of an hour giving time outs, and finally a warning that their friends would have to leave if it persisted. The lils weren’t having fun, our neighbours could not have been having fun, and I wasn’t getting supper made. They acted out a few more times, and I let neighbours know it was time to go home. This was apparently the end of the world as we know it. There were tears, yells and attempts to barricade the door, but I got them home and the lils seperated. They were quiet and sullen for a long time after this, and I was called the meanest mom ever.

I also make Willy do the dishes when all he wants to do is read or play a game. I might be getting grumpier in my old age.

4 comments

8
February

Wordless Wednesday – Family Fun Day

Volleyball

Ready to start

Potato pickin'

Potato pickin'

Lil reward

Cotton Candy!

I've got you

2 comments

7
February

A taste of freedom

We knew that this day was coming, the day when Woo would start going off on his own. I thought at first that he would go for little distances, but I knew that they would grow and get longer with each little taste. It started with a trip to the park. Willy and Goose had gone off on their own, I was cooking dinner and Woo really wanted to go to the park. I said “Sure, you can go to the park.” I held my breath and waited. He went up the streat, around the corner and out of sight. I knew he needed to walk through the clubhouse and past the pool, and he did, going straight into the park and starting to play. He bumped into Daddy and Goose, and when the three of them arrived home together 20 minutes later, I started breathing again. He did it though, he did what I asked, and went where he said he would.

The next big step was when we removed his training wheels from his bicycle. All of a sudden he didn’t want to just ride on our little six street house anymore. He wanted to go around the corner and down the long stretch of the main road to the speedbump. It would more than quadruple the distance that he was able to ride, and would mean that he was out of our sight for a much longer period of time. We said yes. The first time he went I held my breath until he came back to circle in front of our house and go off again. He repeated this over and over. Eventually I stopped holding my breath. He loves to ride and he loves this little taste of freedom that we have given him. He has respected it so far.

This weekend our community had family fun days. We were in the park for long stretches of time, and the lils were left to run and play with new friends. We were watching them, but they were having fun playing with all the other children and were stayign close by. On Saturday afternoon Willy had a volleyball game, so he and Woo went to the park while I waited for Goose to wake from nap. We knew Woo didn’t want to watch, he mostly wanted to run and ride and play.

He quickly found the two little girls that live next door to us and the three of them raced around the park on their bicycles. Willy played his game, catching glimpses of the little boy as he raced by, happily and freely. As I left the house to join them, I noticed that Woo’s bike parked in front of our neighbors house. I guess he and the girls got tired of riding and headed there. When I got to the park Willy let me know that he had not asked to leave, but hadn’t been gone for long. We knew it was partially the excitement of play, and partially testing his boundaries, so we asked him more strongly to let us know when he wanted to leave the park. He agreed.

We met many new neighbours on Sunday, but one in particular stood out. As I introduced him to Woo, he said, “Oh, I know Woo. He and (the neighours) were in my house yesterday. I live over there.” He pointed to the far side of the community, a good distance from our house!! I think it is time to set a few more limits on that freedom, and maybe supervise a little closer!!

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