More short stories

I suppose that I should be grateful that it took until the week before March break in grade one that Woo was introduced to the swear words.  Some might say that it is something of a miracle, given that I have been known to have a bit of a potty mouth, but somehow, he escaped learning them from me.  He was actually quite up front about his new knowledge, matter-of-factly reporting what he learned, who taught him, and how to spell the words.  Then he asked what some of them mean.

Happy that he has only asked what some of the words mean, we have answered honestly, let him know when one might use these words, and cautioned him to never use the words at school.  So far he has been respectful and hasn’t taught all the words to his little sister.  Yet.

The lils and I were in the car one day last week, and Woo decided that needed to confirm with me all of the bad words that he knew, and began spelling them out.  Goose didn’t know what specifically he was spelling, but she did know that they were swear words, so she was egging him on.  Wanting to be supportive of the need to explore these words, I reminded the lils that there was a line between using the words legitimately and using the words to provoke a reaction from me, and that one side of that line was bad behaviour.  They seemed to be following along, so I asked what side of the line they were on. “Left” answered Woo, followed by a “right” from Goose.

Sure enough, they had correctly identified what side of the car they were on…


March Break meant that the time that I generally spent working at home was spent with the lils, so I found myself falling behind as the week went on.  I am teaching two classes this term and had some marking that I needed to get done, so I found myself working late into the night a couple of nights.  Woo notice that I was tired one day, so I explained what I had been up late doing.  He was fascinated by the whole marking process, and had many questions around the process, but was most concerned with how many “A” grades I gave out.

I thought nothing of the questions, assuming the he was just trying to understand a process that he has barely been exposed to.  That was, until he asked if I was going to mark his assignments at home when he took my course.  I explained that I would, but that I was going to mark him extra hard, making sure that he worked for an A from me.

He thought about it for a moment, then he turned on the charm, launching in to a number of reasons why he would be deserving of an A from me. When he saw that I was unmoved, he gave me his sweetest smile and said “but Mama, I’m your little boy”, in a voice that melted my heart.

You get an A for that one, Woo.


Woo had his bestie over for the afternoon one day during the break.  They were having lots of fun, but the crazy level was slowly working it’s way off the charts.  Knowing that a snack generally calms the Lils, we headed to the kitchen. It was the day after Woo’s birthday, so he asked if they could have cupcakes. Knowing that the sugar wouldn’t make things much worse, I said yes.

The snack diversion worked, and the four of us spent quite a while talking about all things food.  It was fun to talk to them about their views on food and what is healthy and fun to eat, as well as their likes and dislikes.  When Woo’s friend heard that Woo had created the recipe for the cupcakes that they had just eaten he was impressed. I asked if he ever noddled around in the kitchen, and he started trying to explain what he liked to do in the kitchen. He struggled to tell me how his parents let him, but he just doesn’t like to, until he blurted out, “I’m just more of an eater than a cooker!”


The lils were scurrying around like mad before dinner tonight, but I was distracted enough with trying to get things done that I was barely paying attention to what they were up to. They were laughing, nothing was getting thrown around, and dinner was going to be on time. I was suspicious, but not suspicious enough. I left them to their giggles, and thought nothing more of it until after supper when I found some things in odd places.

With each discovery I asked them why, and they giggled and Woo said, “don’t tell her, don’t tell her”.  I could tell that whatever they had been doing was building to something, so I played along, and kept asking why things were in crazy places.  Each time the response was the same, until I got to the empty Kleenex box on the Tupperware shelf. Apparently they couldn’t keep it in anymore, and revealed to gales, of laughter that they had been practicing their April fool’s day pranks.  I asked where all the Kleenex had gone and Woo said, “don’t tell her, don’t tell her”.

I forgot about the Kleenex until I slipped my feet into my boots to go to Beavers, and they somehow felt several sizes too small. Well played, little ones.

Category: life | 1 comment

  • Lynn says:

    All of these are so charming – the little moments you want to remember. I have a potty mouth of my own – SADLY. Must work on that :) .

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