Numb

In some ways, it’s hard to believe that we were still living in India just two short weeks ago. Sure we were winding down and packing up, but the lils were still going to school and Willy to work.  It was a busy time, but the biggest stresses of moving were behind us, and we got to just enjoy our last day or two.  We did and the last days made leaving harder.

I don’t know what I expected when we got home, but it wasn’t just this frenzy of doing STUFF that we have been doing.  When we were home in May we socialized and visited and very little else.  Our house was in great shape thanks to our sister-in-law, so we could just vacation.  Now there are all those little and big things that need taking care of; school for the lils, new car, home maintenance, finding and buying warm clothes… every time I tick one thing off the list, three appear at the bottom.  I am a week behind where I thought that I would be, and we’ve barely been home that long.

What it means is that I really haven’t fully let it sink in that we are home.  We miss our friends in Bangalore, but don’t have time to be sad; we talk to family and friends here, but haven’t really seen them. I feel that we are floating in a surreal in between world. Willy has been gone since Friday, which means that I am trying to do it all solo, which exacerbates this feeling. I keep waiting for that moment where it sinks in that we are here, or that I freak out because we aren’t there, or feel completely out of place because Canada/Ottawa is so different than India/Bangalore; that reverse culture shock that I have been warned about.  Instead I am going through all these tasks in somewhat of a numb state, working through the day and tired at night.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll stop and let it sink in.

Category: India, life | 3 comments

  • smothemrother says:

    I found the reverse culture shock to be even more overwhelming than the culture shock of being in India. Don’t discount it. it’s real and the numbness is a part of it. It’s only been two weeks. Give yourself the time to be home and get used to a new routine and know that in a couple more weeks, it will almost seem like Bangalore was a crazy dream that you had. Crazy awesome dream that will stay with you for a lifetime.

    Welcome home!

  • Kathy says:

    Yup, you wonder when you will truly feel again ‘at home’ and then one day it will suddenly occur to you that it has happened and all is well. It won’t be long.

  • Brie says:

    Take some deep breathes and let it settle.


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