My father-in-law lost his fight with cancer today. We are processing and planning to go to be with Willy’s family tomorrow. And we’re sad. We told the lils after dinner, and they were sweet. Goose doesn’t understand, but was full of hugs because we were sad, Woo wiping away my tears. It helps, but it hurts.
14
September
Saddness
12
September
Happy Tired
I am that happy kinda tired that comes with getting a lot of things done. It has been a long time since I have felt motivated and STAYED motivated to fill a day with projects and carry them out, so I am one happy girl. I also rediscovered my joy of all things cooking, another win.
I started the day off with canning tomatoes. I wanted to do this to replace some of my dependence on canned tomatoes, and the large amounts of salt that are added to them. I have done a fair bit of canning, but mostly the jam/jelly type, so this was a new experience. I had it in my head that I would end up with only a couple of jars from the 80 tomatoes that I had, so started off with six 500ml jars prepped. As I blanched and peeled I noted that my original guess was wrong and kept adding jars. In the end I produced eight litres of crushed tomatoes!! I am so happy that I was able to produce so many jars! So happy that I am planning on doing it again on thursday. It would be easier if I had a partner though. Anyone free on thursday?
I then made the horrible mistake of heading to the grocery store. On a Sunday afternoon! It was jam-packed and slower than molasses, but I returned home with the essential ingredients for my next task – nut-free chocolate chips. When Woo finished his quiet time we started on zucchini bread. He loves to cook, and I love to cook with him, so the next hour flew by. His generally loves the measuring and the mixing, but the fact that we were adding chocolate chips at the end made this his new favourite recipe.
After the loaves were out of the oven, my sous-chef and I set about making dinner, a creamy-curried pasta that is relatively easy and really yummy. It’s a family favourite that I don’t make often enough, so I was pleased to have Willy suggest it. I just put the finishing touches on Potato-Leek-Parsnip soup for tomorrow, so even though I am tired, I am ahead of the game!
10
September
These days I hate to hear the phone ring
It’s not like we get a lot of calls, or that I mind the local calls. It’s the multiple ring that means its long distance. I clench my teeth, my heart starts racing, and I check the caller ID. Usually it’s a telemarketing call and I am relieved. Yes, relieved. Sometimes it is from family. Those calls have been pretty normal update calls so far, but I know that they won’t always be.
I don’t want it to be that call, the one that tells us my FIL has gotten worse. I told Willy that I felt this way, now I am afraid that I might have passed my fears on to him. Being so far away (even when it is not that far) is hard. I see the stress beginning to bubble to the surface, and I hate that it is. We are so powerless at the moment.
I hate cancer.
9
September
It’s all about compromises, letting them win, and a little bit of cuteness thrown in
Woo has dabbled in bargaining for a while, but he has really started in earnest at bedtime. He is forever asking for just one more story, one more kiss, one more tuck. He gets indulged a lot (because who can refuse their little boy asking for a hug and kiss in the dark), but I do try to set some boundaries.
His nighttime routine is that he gets a story at bedtime, then gets to play quietly in his room for 30 or 40 minutes, then her gets cuddles and goes to sleep. Some nights he is more energetic than others, and comes visit Willy and I. Each time he is brought back, and told how much longer he can play for. When he hears the number, he almost always asks for one more minute – if I say 5, he asks for 6. Last night he upped the ante, asking for 100 more minutes when I told him I would return in 10! I laughed, then suggested that maybe we could meet in the middle on this one, offering 15 minutes. He looked at me like I had three heads and said no, 100 minutes was good. He then turned back to his trains, dismissing me. I guess we have some work to do on compromises.
He has also discovered V-8, and thinks that it is the BEST. DRINK. EVER. He asks for it several times a day, and will easily consume a small can in the blink of an eye. Mostly he prefers to savour it though. I am all good with this, as veggies are a struggle these days. I know he likes them so I keep serving them, he knows I want him to eat them, he keeps refusing them. Puree them and put them in a can, he is all over them. The best part? He thinks that V-8 is a treat!!
After dinner tonight Willy and I which lil we were tucking on to bed, and Woo piped in with his preference, “I want mom tonight”, he said, “because I love her, and I like her hair”. Good enough for me!!
8
September
Wordless Wednesday
8
September
Three Strikes
ed note. I forgot to publish this last night. oops.
One of the photography goals that I set out for myself at the start of the summer was to take a picture of some lightning. I have made some half-hearted attempts in the past on this one, but never met with much success. I have since invested in the tools that I need (portable tripod, shutter remote, and kick-ass bright lens), so I thought that I would have some opportunity.
With the hot humid days that we have had this summer, you think that I would have had plenty of time to take the pictures that one needs to take to have taken a photo of lightning. I hadn’t even tried. My top excuses were generally that it was too light out, too dark out for no tripod, too wet, I didn’t have my camera, or that the lils were needing my attention. I admit that these are all pretty lame excuses, but they were all I had.
The weather turned to Fall the other day, and I feared that my opportunity had been lost. I wasn’t too crushed, as I have been learning all sorts of new tricks now that I take a bazillion pictures a day, but it was a bit disappointing.
Summer came back today, and with it the perfect conditions for a late day thunderstorm. I was ready, and wasn’t about to let the excuses get me this time. When it got too wet out, I went inside and took out the screen on a window. When the storm moved past us, I moved to the front yard to watch it move away. Woo came with me and we sat under a tree watching it move on. Bedtime came, my plans for a walk were cancelled, and I went back outside for the next storm, bringing my tripod and remote with me. I learned that lightning strikes the moment the you take your hands off the remote, and continued to refocus. Patience paid off and I took this:
It is not the best lightning shot and I’ll keep trying, but for now it’s my lightning shot, and I am pretty pleased with it!
6
September
Homecoming
We were so excited to see the lils last night. We had each left them for work trips in the past, but this was the first trip where we had both gone away together. It was a pretty easy first trip away. We were only gone for thirty-six hours, they were in very capable hands, doing all sorts of crazy fun things, and we were pretty preoccupied. I didn’t worry about them, even when I called to say “hi” on sunday morning, and got a tearful Woo screaming for his mommy. I might have worried for my sister and brother-in-law a bit at that point.
We had the long train ride home to let the anticipation build, to focus on happy things. Willy had a nap, and the wireless was not working on the train so I got psyched up to see them. We got off the train and bolted for the car. I didn’t even want to stop and take pictures of the pretty sunset! (I still took pictures, just the high-speed variety). Luckily the ride is a short one, and we were there before we knew it.
I went running up the laneway and saw an excited Woo run to the front window screaming “Hi, Hi, Hi”, making my heart swell. I was barely in the house when Goose threw herself at me, “mommy, mommy, mommy”, melting it all the more. I needed that.
You can read all about their AWESOME weekend on Neeroc’s blog, here and here.
3
September
Have I mentioned how much I appreciate this?
Willy and I are heading to visit my in-laws in the morning, on a very early train. We debated whether we should bring the lils, but decided against it. My father-in-law is quite ill, so we didn’t want to scare them, or have Woo’s last memory of his grandfather be of him frail and sick and sad. Goose is too young to understand, but Woo does. We hope that he will remember the week that we spent with them in the summer. That left us with a dilemma, of who to ask to take them for the two days that we will be gone.
I was chatting with my sister online earlier this week, and asked if she would consider taking one (or possibly both) of the lils. She jumped on it, and said she would take care of them both!! Her daughter V has apparently been fantasizing about this for a while, so the crazy woman jumped at the chance. I am so eternally grateful, it takes a huge load off of our shoulders. I’d love to thank my brother-in-law, but I am not sure that he knows yet.
I told Woo yesterday, and he has been over the moon since. He has it all planned out. He, V, and Goose are going to sleep in her bed together. He is not worried that it is a toddler bed, as he will sleep on the bottom, then V, then Goose – ordered by size to be fair you know. When they are not sleeping, they will be JUMPING! ON! THE! BED! and various other hairbrained schemes that have been explained to me with gales of laughter, some of it maniacal. I have shared some of these with my sis, but some she will just have to experience.
My sis has a fabulous weekend planned, one that includes Cosmic Adventures, the Lumieres, apple picking, the hot air balloons, and time with my brother and sister-in-law, all things that I know all three lils will love. Hell, I’d love to do!! I hope that she takes LOTS of pictures.
I am so grateful that they are willing to do this for us. I know that C and B are fabulous parents, and that they love my lils like they were their own, so I have no doubts that they will be well cared for. I must admit that I do have a hard time shaking the memory of the last time that my sis babysat me. I was 12, she was 16, we came home in the back of a police car, and had to wake the neighbours at dawn to let us in our house.
2
September
Dinosaur roar!
Willy and I both love to read, and seem to have passed this on to the lils. They frequently present us with books to be read, read on their own, and always ask us to read them just one more whenever we finish a story. We are happy they are so enamoured with books, and hope it keeps up.
They each have their favourites, the books that they hear many times a day. One that has been a favourite for each lil is “Dinosaur Roar“. It is a cute little book of rhymes that uses dinosaurs to illustrate opposites. Each page has a pair, such as dinosaur fast and dinosaur slow, or dinosaur above and dinosaur below. It’s cute and short and has always been enjoyed by both the lils and Willy and I.
A few weeks back Goose decided that she was “dinosaur slimy”. We giggled enough that it stuck, and every time I read the book to her, she would point at slimy and say “that’s Goose”. A week or so later she decide that Woo was dinosaur sweet, and added him to the routine, now pointing out both the Goose and Woo dinos. Last week was Willy’s turn, and he became dinosaur clean. Today I was added to the list. I am dinosaur GRUMPY.
I know that grumpy is not a word that she fully understands (I hope), but it hit a little close to home when she showed me. Now I ask, what was wrong with dino fast, strong, even spiky or fierce?? I guess it could have been worse – I could have been dinosaur fat or dinosaur lumpy.
