Today was the day that I tuned it out.  I don’t want to read anything else about what happened in Newtown, Connecticut. I knew enough in the first reports.  I can’t watch to see who was hurt, what lives were lost.  I don’t have the energy to get angry at the coverage, and can’t cope with learning about the lives that were lost.  In my professional life I have seen a lot of horrible things, but this tragedy is that got to me the most.

I’m not going to judge; I am not going to pay attention to how others deal.  Everyone deals with tragedy and horrible news differently, and no one does it the right way or the wrong way.  I am not going to hypothesize as to how this tragedy could have been prevented or point the finger to what social programs would have helped.  The opinions I have are going to be saved for another day.

Instead, I hugged my lils until they pushed me away, and I kept hugging them.  I cried when they weren’t looking, and was thankful that they were young enough to be blissfully unaware, for today.  Instead of the Christmas Advent activity we had planned, I asked for a family hug and kiss under the mistletoe, the activity that I save for days when we are too busy or forget to do our activity.  Then, once they were snug in their beds, I sat with Willy and chilled with a glass of wine and tried to talk of anything but the events of the day.

All that really matters is that the lives of so many were shattered today, and it hurts so much for me, let alone those who lost loved ones.