When buying eggs, I always open the carton and inspect. Each egg gets a once over, and I reject any dozen that has eggs showing cracks. Secure in the integrity of my eggs, I go home and never think about their integrity again. That is until today, when I set the eggs that I was using in some baking on the counter. They were bathed in sunlight, at just the right angle. The light revealed what was beneath the shell:
Pits, weak spots and a crack that was not visible from the outside. I noted this, then cracked the egg on the side of the bowl, forever shattering the shell’s integrity. It made me think about my grocery store ritual and how it clearly doesn’t stop me from purchasing eggs with hidden cracks and other weak spots.
We all sport a shell of some sort, one that hides some of our soft spots. Sometimes we have to break that shell, and I know that it is time to break mine. This move has been many wonderful things for us as a family. While we are all happy to be here and enjoying India, it has also meant upheaval and adjustment. We have weathered that pretty well and I think that Willy, and to some extent, the lils, are settling in to a pretty comfortable existence. I’m not there yet. It really hit me when the lils went back to school at the start of last week.
We both knew that moving to India was going to be a big adjustment, that there would be some issues with isolation and loneliness. I thought that I would be OK, and would stay connected with family and friends through talking online and via skype. Unfortunately this has heightened my isolation in some ways. Being in touch doesn’t always bring you closer. Right now, it shows what me what I am missing out on, as it happens. It keeps me at the periphery, getting the beginning or the end of a conversation, but rarely the whole thing. I have become acutely aware of the silence in the middle of the day, or when messages are ignored and unanswered. I feel like I am not relevant. It’s not a nice feeling.
There is no easy way to fix the fact that I miss my family, friends, and life back home. We are starting to build a life here, and I have to figure out how I will fit. This means finding ways to go out an meet people, even by doing things that I don’t normally do. The best way to fill those gaps when I can’t have those I miss is to find new friends here, I just never thought about how to do that.
Hey Kris,
I really enjoy reading your little blogs… I can’t wait to hear about how & where you’re going to meet your new friends and about the new & exciting adventures you’re going to have. Hang in there kiddo… things will get better. Maybe I’ll win the lottery and come for a visit just so you can get your “pick on Tracie” fix. You should be due for one soon, right. If I can figure out how to use Skype, I’ll be there to have a drink with you on your b-day & celebrate x-mas too…
Until next time friend…
Cheers!!!
Trace
Thanks Trace! You do know how to make a girl smile! Let me know when you are on skype! we cann celebrate your bday too 🙂 xo
When you’re a kid, you don’t think about making new friends. It just happens. You show up at school with a hot wheels car, someone else has a hot wheels car and voila. You’re friends.
As adults it’s more difficult and yet, so worthwhile. I have no doubt that you are going to go out there and meet new people and this time next year you’ll be telling us about your adventures with your friends while your kids are at school.
So true, for the most part, the lils have made new friends, though the list changes daily.
I’ve never really had to seek friends before, so feel very awkward. I do hope I break through this soon!! Thank you 🙂
Hi!
I haven’t talked to you in a bit. There are so many of us on twitter that it’s easy to lose track of each other in the shuffle. But I’m trying to follow, when I can, and I’m thinking of you and wishing you all good things. Your life experience now is so incredible. Such a gift.
I’m sure it’s a huge transition, but — just so you know — there are tons of us here cheering you on and sending you a virtual crate of wine and Starbucks. : )
@writewrds
Thanks Pam, that makes me feel better! I really appreciate the well wishes! I have felt (and clearly continue to feel 🙂 much support, and it helps tremendously.
Looking forward to that virtual crate! 😉
I know exactly how you feel – that’s how it was for me too when I moved to the UK, even tho I’d traveled there many times and they spoke the same language. Well, maybe a similar language 🙂 I was truly tired of everything being a new experience and how much effort it took to accomplish simple tasks. I wanted to go home. And then a few months in, I realized that WAS home. Embrace everything familiar that you left and also all the new. It will get better.
Yes, the effort kills me. That and the traffic, it takes 4 times what it does in Ottawa to get things done – drains me!!
I do need to wrap my head around the fact that this is home – it will help us all. Thanks very much 🙂
when i was in india it hit me how long i would be away and how much i would miss when my friend called to tell me she was pregnant. she conceive, had her pregnancy and gave bith all while i was away. when i got back home there was this little boy who i couldn’t relate to her because i wasn’t there for the whole process. it was a really weird feeling.
get out and meet the expat community. they will welcome you with open arms i am sure! i bet they even have a facebook page! 😉
It is really an odd feeling. One year, maybe + is long enough to completely miss this stuff.
I have found the expat group!! going to their “teas” is one of those things that I will do, that I never thought I would be doing! 🙂
glad to hear you found them. can’t wait to hear about the tea!
It is hard starting somewhere new. Each time I moved, to London and Ottawa, they were pretty clean breaks. I keep in touch with a few people through letters and then emails, but I was more focused on starting new. I think way we communicate now makes it harder to step back from the place you left.
I know that you can do it. Someone will be very happy to make your friendship.
I agree, I am having a hard time leaving. Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to me. 🙂 Hugs!
Krista, you are one of the kindest and most generous friends. I know that you will get there because you are just so nice, the friends will be sure to flock to you.
Truly.
Hugs.
Thank you so much, you certainly know how to make a girl feel great and tear up all at the same time!! Hugs right back!
It’s hard to reach out to old friends and especially new ones. We often make new friends through ones we already have, not from ‘scratch’. I’ll be here cheering you on and to chat. I feel invisible most days and I’m still in ottawa so know you’re not alone xox
Thanks Sara. It is sad that you are feeling invisible too, yet oddly comforting to me… thank you. I really appreciate knowing that you are there for me.
It is very much starting from scratch, HARD.
Before you know it, you’ll be sad to be leaving your ‘new friend’s behind, to come home to us boring old Canadians… ;). ;). Always your friend, near or far. Xo :). Yes, apparently I had not read this entry… 😉
you make me giggle… I appreciate your friendship, it means so much to me, always! xo
When you come back, you will fall back into our lives so effortlessly it will be as though you were never gone. We miss you more than you can imagine! Not a day goes by that your friends and family back home don’t think about you and wonder what you are up to. You can do it Krista, put yourself out there and take a risk, talk to new people. The new friends you meet will be lucky to have you.
Thank you so much for this, it helps to hear. XO