This move hasn’t been all roses, and it’s shown in more ways than one. We have each had our adjustments to make, and some have taken a while. Sadly for me, I have not been adjusting as well as I hoped, and that makes it hard for interacting with the lils, who are trying to figure it out as well and acting out of character a fair bit. Throw in the fact that we have been stuck in the house together for hours at a time waiting for various deliveries etc has made it worse. As a result, I lose my patience, give many timeouts, over react, yell, and have A LOT of regrets and apologies. I know that this is ME not them, and I know that I need to figure it out fast.

Last week Candace posted a mom challenge on her blog. It was a list of thirty things that she was going to do, one a day, over the month of November. Actions that brought the focus back to her children and asked that she take the time to appreciate them. I was excited and thankful that she posted it. It was so simply laid out, and clearly what I needed. It also told me that I wasn’t the only mom who needed a little reminder. Pretty much all of the items on the list are easy and should be no brainers, but for me of late, they haven’t been.

The easiest so far (keeping in mind that we are six days in) has been the suggestion to hug each child at least three times. We are pretty huggy people, so I had this one in the bag by 7:30am. I decided to just keep hugging, and not just when they wanted a hug, or were hurt or sad, but when ever. There were many, many hugs dished out that day, and in the days that followed. The best part is that they have started initiating the hugs at a rate greater than what I am doing. Big, squeeze as tight as you can, hold on for a long time hugs. It’s a big ol love fest here.

While I knew that this challenge was the right thing for me, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was planning to follow a list that told me how I could be more present as a parent, more understanding of my lils. Six days in, I have made many really small adjustments, some on the list, some not. I know that there is more to do, and will keep trying. Seeing the changes that have been the result, in all of our moods and behaviours, has told me that it doesn’t matter how I got the reminder, just that I knew I needed it. It’s more than just the hugs, but they are my favourite part.