Willy dropped the lils at daycare this AM and had a chat with N*, our daycare provider. He was telling her how great it was that Woo got himself changed and brushed his teeth while Goose was being put down. He did it without being asked, we were both pretty proud! She gave him a funny look and told him that Woo was responsible for solo dressing/changing at her place, and had been FOR MONTHS! It got me wondering just how many things he has been doing at her place that he refuses to do here.

I think that the list will be pretty long actually. Off the top of my head:

• He NAPS at N’s house, EVERY day. We only get naps if we run him to the point of exhaustion, completely over stimulate him, and have him in the car with music on.
• He eats mushrooms at her house. Mushrooms are the one and only food that we will let him pick out of what ever we are eat, as he has consistently refused to eat them, for pretty much his entire life. As he picked them out of his pasta one night recently, he casually told me that he “likes mushrooms, just not at home”.
• He listens to N, all the time, and answers properly and politely. We are lucky if we get an occasional acknowledgment that we exist some days. He remembers his pleases and thank yous most days, but there are some days that they “sleep in” and we have to go looking for them.
• On the very rare times that he misbehaves (and it is generally for beating on his sister – some things don’t change), he just goes and serves his time out. No fuss or muss or tantrum to end the world.
• “Clean-up, clean-up, everybody clean-up…” not only does he sing the song, he does the actions too. We consider it a victory if Woo doesn’t add to the mess while we are cleaning, and occasionally tosses a toy or two in the bins.

I could go on, but it is pretty clear that we have been duped by the three year old. Now we have to fix it. I don’t think it is going to be easy.

UPDATE – he freakin’ listens at gymnastics too, for the record.

*I’ll have to come up with a clever nickname for her, but all I can come up with right now is the super awesome wonderful woman who loves our lil peeps three days a week, and that is just too long.

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So I decided to FINALLY write the guest post that I promised the folks @ Kids in the Capital. It only took me a month, largely because I wanted it to be perfect. It’s not, but I think that it is still pretty good. I am somewhat sad that I didn’t include pictures, but I don’t have any that don’t have oodles of other children in them, so I passed this time.

Hopefully they will let me write some others for them in the future – I have some adventures planned for us in the coming months! The post is available here.

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Now that we are home and the laundry is done and a week has passed, I have a few minutes to recap vacation.  It was a great trip for the most part.  We started off late in the day on July 30, and the timing seemed to work out really well for all of us – driving was split, the lils got to run around for an hour at a park in Kingston over supper, and arrived at my in-laws around nine.  Woo was sleeping and Goose fading, we were settled quickly.

We took off early Saturday, headed for the ROM via subway (a treat in itself).  Woo has been wanting to go the “dinosaur museum” at home for a while, and we have been having trouble trying getting there, so this was a great substitute.  It actually blew the lils minds! It was so much more than the fishies, that were Goose’s favourites, and the dinosaur bones that awed Woo.  Their children’s area is really great, so a good time was had by all.

We headed to the in-laws farm after a quick lunch.  The littles napped on the road, so there was an abundance of energy upon arrival.  Woo was so excited to re-discover all that the farm offered and the chance to share it with Goose.  Gramma and Granddad were really happy to see us, and it was many hours of playing and cuddling before the littles settled in to bed.

Sunday was a beautiful day, and the littles spent much of the morning exploring the farm and out buildings, and generally wearing their grandparents out.  After nap we headed to some friends for a swim in their pool.  Both kids really impressed us with their comfort in the pool, each in their own way.  Goose was her usual fearless self, repeatedly jumping in with no qualms.  She is way more confident than we imagined she could be.  Woo started really slowly, tentatively going in to the pool, but was freely jumping in by the end of the day.  They were both swimming for over an hour, and would have kept going if we hadn’t dragged them out.

I had some work to do on Monday, so Willy and Gramma took Woo and Goose to the beach for the morning.  They were pretty shy about the lake water, a surprise after the pool, but were keen to play in the sand and on the playground. Their uncle joined them for a bit too, which was a nice treat.   They headed home for the first of many corn focused lunches.  We ate VERY well, lots of fresh goodness on vacation…

Goose woke from nap with a fever, which meant that she and I stayed in while the others went off visiting more friends.  I was pretty sure that she was teething, but you never know. It freaked me out a little, as I didn’t want her to get her grandparents sick – especially granddad.  I was REALLY relieved when she started telling us that her teeth hurt.  Yay for early talkers!!  The grumpiness lasted the week.

Tuesday was somewhat unremarkable.  We had a visit from another friend, and went on a shopping excursion for provisions, but otherwise stayed home and played.  Willy set up the slide and pool – and made it a slide into the pool – so much fun was had their.  It provided a great kid friendly activity, and kept them from under the feet and out of the hair of their grandparents.

Tuesday night was great, as we got to see the Aurora Borealis, and I got to take some pictures of it!!  I was pleased with the results, but figured out some more ways to improve.

Wednesday morning we headed off to the local miniputt to see how it would go.  Woo was quite into it, even though he holds the club with a hockey grip, and Goose was more interested in throwing her three balls down the hole.  I think that it was a success, as the lils went through the entire course with much glee, and were happy enough when we left.  Filed away for future excursions!  Poor Goosie fell a few times at the outset, which didn’t help with her general crabbiness, but she pushed through it.

Willy golfed with his mom on Thursday.  I was REALLY happy to have him go with her, but stressed too.  I was in a place that I am not entirely comfortable, and looking after two monkeys who were getting on each others nerves, and tired of hearing about the things that they couldn’t do/touch.  Granddad wasn’t feeling well and stayed in bed for the day, so we tried to stay outside and quiet.  It didn’t quite work out, but we survived.

I realized today that we were starting to wear out our welcome.  I talked to Willy about it, and he talked to his folks, but they decided that we should stay til Saturday, as planned. In hindsight, we should have known that seven days were too long with them, but we also all wanted to be together. (have I mentioned that I hate cancer?)

We headed out for more beach and miniputt on Friday and were again pleased with the reaction from the lils. They were both more into it, and had a great time hitting (and sometimes throwing) the ball. We finished off the morning with a trip to the wharf, where woo and I walked out almost to the lighthouse on a scary rocky path, and Goose fell off a bench onto her head. Good times. No on was harmed on the morning, at least not permanently… Much of the rest of Friday, and the morning on Saturday were spent gathering and packing. After some tearful goodbyes, we headed to Toronto.

Sunday morning we decided to try a trip to the Ontario Sciences Centre. I had never been, but the lils had on a previous trip to Toronto. It was good that we arrived early, as it gave us a chance to check out a good portion of the kids area (although we somehow missed the water area the first time!). We hung out with Uncle J and his new girlfriend, and got to play with lots of cool stuff. Goose and Woo were appropriately exhausted by the morning, so we pack up the car and headed home after lunch.

I’d add pictures, but this post is long enough as it is!  The vacation was really great. There were some tough times, and a couple of uncomfortable times for me, but I think that we all did really well. I know that the lils and Willy LOVED it, and, in the end, that makes it great for me too.

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Driving home from Toronto on Sunday, we stopped in Kingston to have some sud pper and let the kids run around and stretch. It was pouring rain, so the great playground that we had found on the way down was out. It was getting close to five when we rolled in, and many things were closing(damn small town). We ended up going to the mall and then the McDonald’s playplace. Not what we wanted, but we were limited in knowledge.

The run around – energy burn was not quite what we wanted, but we hit the road again. About 20 minutes into the drive, Woo pipes up that he needs to “pee on a tree”. We figured that this was a ploy to get us to let him out of the seat and run around, so explained that it was raining, and we would stop if he really needed to, but would keep going if it could wait. It could, and we kept going.

A minute later I hear Goose’s little voice say “need to poop”. This is more serious, given the toilet training that is going on, so I turn and and ask her if we need to stop so she can poop on the potty. She looks right back at me, and very seriously says, “No, I need to poop on a tree!”

The laughing lasted at least 20KM, mostly because she would repeat it every time Woo and I stopped laughing.

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Alt title: it’s my blog and I can whine if I want to.

My vacation is starting to drag on, and I’d really like to go home now. There, I said it. I’ve been thinking it, but it feels good to get it out. I’d like to be able to say that it is because my father-in-law is sick, but it isn’t.  It isn’t even because Goose is sick and not even close to her usual self, that Woo is being a monkey at times, that the weather is warm and two-thirds of the windows don’t open, that I don’t get to do my own thing, or that I am stuck sleeping in a single bed in Woo’s room.  It is really none of those things.

I am just done with being here.  I love my in-laws, but I just never feel like I fit in, like I live up to expectation.  It wears on a person. Prior to the trip I tried to prepare myself for this, and I think I have done a pretty good job, but I see that coming to an end.   I know that I should grow a thicker skin, but it has been 12 years, so I don’t see that happening.

I am going to focus on the positive, and hope that I can power through it.  I know that my crappy time is contagious too.

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My father-in-law is sick. He has been fighting cancer for a little over a year now, and he is not winning that battle. We arrived at my in-laws yesterday and I was shocked at his appearance. We were here a month ago and he looked good! Really good, better than he had since he his diagnosis. Yesterday he was tired, pale, thin, and weak looking. I know it might just be that this latest round of chemo has just kicked him in the ass, but I know it might be that the cancer is winning. He was holding his own, and even winning a few rounds, but now I am not sure.

I am afraid. Afraid for him, for my mother-in-law, for Willy and his brothers, and for the kids. I have always had an “interesting” relationship with him, but I am not ready for this. I don’t want to lose him, for all of us to lose him. This is the first visit that we have had since this crappy fight started that I feel might be the last. I don’t really think that, but the thought has occured to me in passing.

I hate cancer.

UPDATE: I still hate cancer, but am feeling better about my FIL.  He is sick, but has a lot of fight in him.  I know that a good attitude is really important, and he has that on most days.  New chemo was started right after we left, and we can hope that this is the right mixture for him, the one that will knock it into remission.

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