Despite the fact that my allergies have been insanely bad for the last two days, I cut the grass a while ago. It has increased the suffering. This means that I lost the game of chicken that I had been playing with Willy, and this is just one of the reasons why I wish he had lost. He won because he is currently on a train to visit his father, who is in hospital due to complications from his chemo. We are all a little freaked out. I spent much of the time after dropping Willy off explaining to Woo about cancer and why his grandfather is in the hospital. He still has questions and is not alarmed, but that doesn’t make it easier.

Today is our wedding anniversary. We don’t generally celebrate in any big way, but I still miss being with Willy.

I thought that having a “mother’s helper” for a couple of hours a week would be helpful this summer. Unfortunately the thirteen-year-old neighbour that I have hired has proven to be increasingly less helpful as the summer goes on. I know that she is young, and have viewed this as a trial babysitting period. I fear that she is failing the trial and now I am in a pickle, as she lives closeby. She is a really great kid, just not a great babysitter. I have tried to help her learn, but she lacks confidence, would rather stay close to me, and automatically brings the lils to me when they cry, ask for me, or do something wrong. This is not what I pictured, having three children underfoot while I try to get things done.

That would likely be enough for me to call this a crappy end to the week, but we also played our last games of the ball season last night, and lost both spectatcularly. Given that we were playing the team we are tied for last place with, I was hoping for a split. Instead we got trounced, rained on, and I managed to mangle my already pained heel when I planted my foot poorly in cleats. (I did get a nice hit, however) At some point during the first game Willy let me know that Goose had somehow knocked over her highchair while she was sitting in it and hit her head on the ground at supper. He neglected to tell the sitter about this, which made me worry for the rest of the evening.

It could be that I am just cranky from the lack of sleep that is going on, between getting the news about my FIL late last night, the allergies, the early morning visits from the little boy and the plain silliness of me going to bed too late, I am one tired girl. I am heading to the to cottage to spend the weekend with the littles and my mother. And wine, lots of wine. That might fix things, but sadly, I think not.