22
May
Why not today?
Over the last few days, I have noticed that the bunnies, new and old, have become very active in my neighbourhood. We see at least one every time that we are outside, but most often there are two or three at a time, munching on clover or playing in the dandelions. I’ve been wanting snap some shots of them, but it seems that I am either without my camera or with Goose, who likes to chase the bunnies to make them hop.
As I stepped outside tonight, a bunny ran by me and down the side of the house. I followed, and it turned out that there were three baby bunnies running around in the back yard, so I waiting until they got comfortable with me in their space. The bunnies kept getting closer (one even stepped on my foot!), so I took out my phone, and snapped a few shots with my phone while they played.
I wasn’t entirely happy with the pictures, so I went inside and got my camera. It’s something that I have been doing more and more lately, grabbing my camera and going out looking for pictures. Actively taking pictures that aren’t from an event, or because someone asked me to document something, or I needed to record a milestone. Pictures for fun, pictures for me. I have been toying with starting a 365 again too. This seemed like a good day to start.
15
May
A house divided
As we settled in to watch the first period of the hockey game tonight, Goose climbed into her favourite spot on my lap. We’d all been excited for this game to start, so started watching even though Willy wasn’t home yet. It had barely begun when she started to confidently chant, “Go Pens go, go Pens go!” I’d been expecting it since it was decided that Ottawa would be playing Pittsburgh in the second round, but it still so foreign.
Goose has been a Senators fan her whole life, and a Penguins fan since we returned from India. Her love of the Sens comes from the exposure in the house and in the city; it’s hard not to like a team when they are all you have ever known. We figure that her love of the Pens has something to do with the fact that her Uncle DW is a fan, a little to do with Sidney Crosby, and a lot with the fact that Penguins are her favourite animal. She cheers for the Sens most days, but if you ask her who her favourite team is, she will tell you that it is the Pittsburgh Penguins
I grew up in a house that was divided by hockey loyalties. My Dad was a Leafs fan, and my Mom supported the Canadians. I sided with the Habs, and had many a spirited discourse over which team was better with my Dad. I won most of those conversations, though the Saturday before he passed away, Dad sat up and watched the Leafs beat the Canadians. The score was lopsided, yet he stayed up right to the end, loving what he saw and rubbing it in to me. I felt the losses to the Leafs harder than any other, and loved to beat the Leafs a little more than any other team. I know what it can be like to cheer for the other team.
Goose is young, and could likely be convinced to cheer for the Sens if we wanted to try. We won’t though, and could not be prouder of how she has stuck to her team, even with intense pressure from her brother. I want her to make her own choice, and will do my best not to influence her, even when her team plays mine over the next couple of weeks. She has wavered a bit, but keeps coming back to the Pens. A supportive note, sent by her Uncle this afternoon helped to give her a little more confidence. So she chants and cheers, and expects the Pens to win the series. She has even started lobbying her father to start cheering for her team, if not now, when the series is over.
Whatever the result, I suspect that our early morning cuddles while watching the highlights are on hiatus for the next while…
14
May
Mother’s day musings
Yesterday was just an ordinary day for me, even though it was Mother’s Day. I woke early with the lils while Willy slept in. He still needs tonnes of rest following his surgery, so we snuck downstairs and I made their breakfast, then breakfast in bed for my mom, before moving on to the cleaning and laundry that needed to be done. We then headed to an awesome brunch hosted by my brother-in-law and niece, before we returned home to more normal. Play, tidy, cook, clean, then bedtime. At this minute, we aren’t in any place to be able to celebrate Mother’s Day by lavishing attention on me, but I understand that, and care more about getting Willy back to 100% than anything else.
As much as my day was less than ideal, I am grateful for all that Willy and the lils bring to my life. I also know that Mother’s Day is always hard for some people. Among my friends, there are those who are estranged from their mothers and/or children, who have lost their mother, their mother-in-law, or one or more of their children. There are also those who desperately want to be mothers, but for whatever cruel reason they are unable to have children. For these women, and many more, yesterday is not just about celebrating. For some it is not about celebrating at all.
With this in my mind, I popped online in the morning, and was surprised by two messages that I saw recurring in my feeds. The first was a call to honour women who are childless by choice, as they should not be forgotten. This made me pause, as yesterday was not Women’s day, it was Mother’s Day, and women who are self-declared to be childless by choice have decided that they don’t want to be mothers. Why, then, should they be included? Would they even want to be??
The second was the inclusion of single parent dads in the celebrations for Mother’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I have all the respect in the world for single parents. Quite frankly, I have no idea how they do all that they do for their children without the help and support of a partner. It amazes me. I am stuck, however, by the notion that fathers should be honoured on Mother’s Day. There are a number of reasons why this is wrong; the most glaring of these is that single fathers are honoured. On FATHER’S DAY.
So please, just let it go. Mother’s Day is for honouring motherhood. Sometimes it’s just not your day.
7
May
Holding my breath
I have spent much of the last week feeling like I am holding my breath, all in knots. It’s the week that I have been dreading since the dates fell into place, the week that both Woo and Willy had surgery. I am a worrier by nature, so to surgeries meant it hit me doubly hard this time. By Thursday, the day before Woo’s surgery, I was a grumpy and overtired mess.
Woo was getting a tooth pulled. One of his molars was fused to the jawbone and had not erupted. This was starting to cause him some discomfort, and could lead to big issues with jaw development moving forward, so it needed to come out. I know it’s a pretty routine surgery, but I was still anxious. It was such a nice and comforting surprise to see one of my good friends in the waiting room when we arrived at the surgery centre on Friday. Her daughter was having surgery right before Woo, and even though she was feeling many of the same things that I was feeling, her presence both calmed me and distracted me. Still, one of the hardest things that I have had to do was hold Woo as they put him under, then be directed to walk away, leaving him so small and vulnerable on the operating table. I might have shed a tear or two.
Thankfully the surgery was fast and uneventful. By the time that Willy arrived from walking Goose to school, they were calling me back to sit and cuddle him in recovery. We were able to take him home shortly after, and he spent the day lounging on the couch, spoiled rotten. He amazed me in his ability to bounce back. He never once complained of pain, and dove right into his normal routine, heading to the park to play soccer on Saturday morning.
We were allowed a brief sigh of relief before we started to prep for Willy’s surgery today. He had a stapedectomy, an operation that will hopefully restore the hearing in his right ear. He had this operation performed on his left ear in early 2009, and although he is very sensitive to loud noises now, he can thankfully hear in that ear again. We have been looking forward to this operation, as his hearing loss has been frustrating for both of us. There are risks associated with the procedure, so I worry still.
Today was a long day for me. I had barely slept, was awakened in the middle of the night, and then I had to get the lils to school and Willy to the hospital. The majority of my day was spent worrying about Willy, so I was very relieved to be called about an hour earlier than expected to come and pick him up. He is now upstairs, sleeping peacefully, as he will be for the next few days. I still have to make it through the next week, trying to ensure that he gets the rest that he needs and that the lils don’t hurt him or drive us all crazy as they try to be calm and quiet.
Right now they all sleep peacefully, so I close my eyes and slowly exhale.
30
April
Consequences
The last couple of weeks have been a bit of an eye opener for me as the mom of two lils in kindergarten. For the majority of the school year, I thought that I was doing pretty well. The lils made it to school most days before the bell, they are often overly prepared for the weather, and I hadn’t yet forgotten to include their lunches OR water bottles. Sure, I likely drive them more often then I should, and I have forgotten to call the school once or twice when one of them is sick, but all in all it’s not been too bad.
There has been a subtle shift of late, and I think that things are starting to slide. It started when I forgot to buy splash pants for Goose, and then didn’t find any for weeks. It started getting warm, and overly prepared for the weather morphed into sending the poor girl in her snowsuit up until mid-April, when the temperature was well above freezing and she was over-heating. Then the lils started competing to see who could reach me for hugs at the end of the day. The “winner” got their hug first, and the loser, well, lost it. The tears, the yelling, the crying, have become a daily occurrence. Their teachers look at me, confused as I am as to what is happening. Then I sent Goose to school in a dress that clearly needed something worn underneath it. It was a knit dress, and their were holes in the pattern. I thought that she was fine with nothing underneath, but I was so wrong, and those holes looked so large as she ran around the playground at pick-up.
I have been able to volunteer a few days a month in the lils’ classroom. It is great to see the them interacting with their peers, to get to know their classmates, and to help the teachers out a little bit. I like it, I know that the teachers appreciate it, and all of the lils seem to have fun when a parent comes in. Sadly, the last few visits I have made have ended with one or both of my lils behaving really badly. They don’t listen, disrupt the lessons, and try to get their classmates to follow them in their mischievous ways. The teachers know it is for my benefit, the lils have been warned that they can’t keep it up or there will be consequences, yet it continues. When Willy picked the lils up from school one night recently, he was told that I should not come in the next day, as it becomes too disruptive for all. The consequences they were warned of.
I’ll be allowed to come back in next month, but until then, I’ve been suspended from kindergarten.
26
April
Complaints
Woo talking. Goose, “Hey! I was about to talk and Woo started talking first. That’s interrupting!”
Me, “There was no kale in today’s veggie basket.”
Woo, “What???? Why not!? Can you go get some now?!” (addict much?)
Goose accidentally pulls the curtain rod down in her room, at bedtime. She still has a blind, so I figure she will be fine. When I leave the room and turn the lights out she says, “Hey! Why is it so bright in here? I can’t sleep when it is this bright out!”
Tucking Woo in to bed one night, “Your breath smells like wine.” (that might have been a valid compliant)
One night this week the lils were presented with a nice steak, usually a family favourite in our mostly vegetarian house. Goose took one look and cried, “But we haven’t had KD in a million days!”
Each night I call the lils to supper, reminding them to use soap. Tonight Goose refused, angrily complaining, “I don’t need to use SOAP to wash my hands.”
When his milk was about to be poured into the same plain, low profile, bottom heavy, hard to spill glass that he uses every night, Woo cried out, “WAIT! I can’t drink my milk unless it’s in a fancy glass…”
Walking to school last week, Goose asked what the date was. I told her, and she exclaimed, “AWW, I don’t have any APRIL underwear!” The people who were jogging by at this exact moment found this to be particularly amusing.